20 Responses

1. Dr Roger

   05|Oct|2008 1

   I do agree with you, Doc. There is nothing wrong when one waits for the right moment in their life to take the next step. One who acts in any situation, whether it is in sexual encounters or other aspects of their life, for the wrong reasons or when not in their comfort zone opens themselves up for other problems.
   Dr Roger

2. Dr. KC

   05|Oct|2008 2

   Dear Dr. Roger,

   Yes, I completely agree with you that if someone does something when they are not ready for it, it will open other doors “for other problems”.

   That is why I constantly talk of true self love and confidence (not a facade) being the keys to success in all areas of life including inner happiness and peace.

   Thank you for your comment.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

3. Laurie

   06|Oct|2008 3

   I have a lot of respect for her for waiting. What she has to offer a lover is so incredibly valuable I am impressed she is not giving it away without care. I did somethings in my youth that later haunted me. I wish I had thought more of myself to not share some of the things I did share. I lived with shame which spilled over into my marriage (along with other things).

   I the man cannot respect you for your decision to value your sexuality, then he isn’t valuing you at your core and you need to look elsewhere.

   You go girl!

4. Laurie

   06|Oct|2008 4

   Oh and Doc,
   I missed you posts. I hope you are ok!

5. Jason P.

   06|Oct|2008 5

   Not to be in disagreement, but I do think it is harder for a male than a female.

   To be frank: I am 36, and haven’t either. Granted I had 3 opportunities to go that route with a woman before I was 25, but it seemed too rushed on her part, and I knew they weren’t someone that would stay around. (And of course they didn’t - and was that because of my choice?)

   Sexual relations have been just a source of friction and irritation.

   And now, it seems not worth the pursuit of anyone with my various other dilemmas - financial, personal, career choices and my faulty background.

   I do wonder if I had just done it and got it over with, would I have been better off or more well adjusted today? (No one can really know?)

   It is always “nice” to think being with that special one that could be all the difference. However, I feel it is psyching us up for something that really ain’t all that - at least not usually a long-lasting commitment - is somehow undermining the whole thing.

   But I am a different drummer on this set. Just a thought.

6. Jennifer

   07|Oct|2008 6

   Good for her! I’m sure this will not be the most popular thing to say, but all I have seen is regrets from people who didn’t wait til they were married, just like Laurie was saying.

7. Dr. KC

   08|Oct|2008 7

   Hi Laurie,

   Thank you so much for your sweet concern for my well being. I’m doing really well; just working hard on a couple of different projects that have kept me away from my blog.

   I do, however, dislike being inconsistent in my postings. It’s loyal readers like yourself that keep me going and I love to write for you! Thank you again!

   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

8. Dr. KC

   08|Oct|2008 8

   Hi Laurie,

   Thank you for giving encouragement and respect to the writer of this question/concern. I hope she can entirely read what you are telling her here and take your words to heart. We often learn so much from the experiences of others. What you have shared truly means a lot.

   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

9. Dr. KC

   08|Oct|2008 9

   Hi Jason P.,

   I don’t read your words as “disagreement”. They are YOUR thoughts and feelings and they mean a lot. As for men AND women, I agree that everyone has to do what makes them feel the most comfortable with themselves. We don’t want to live in regret for doing things due to feeling pressured or because we think it’s the right thing to do, when deep inside, we know it is NOT right for us.

   Thank you for your honesty and please know that all the decisions regarding your sexuality were the right ones for you! Don’t live in regret and be proud of your values and don’t waiver on your beliefs.

   I’m so happy to have you here to share with my readers. I’m sure there are many people out there reading this with the same beliefs that you have, and you without even knowing it, are helping them to feel comfortable with the decisions they make for their lives.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

10. Dr. KC

    08|Oct|2008 10

    Dear Jennifer,

    Thank you for your comment. Everyone is so unique and individual and those that do not feel the need to go with the general “population” when it comes to the decisions they make for themselves, as long as they are healthy decisions, are wonderful.

    So, it is not a question about whether your statement here is “popular” or not. It is beautiful that you can be so open about how you feel and there will of course be those who do and do not agree. Every one will always have their opinions. We know that. Thank you for sharing yours!!

    All my best,

    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

11. ClinicallyClueless

    11|Oct|2008 11

    For religious reasons and trust issues, I waited until I was married at the age of 31. Boy, was the year long engagement tough. We had to keep pushing the line further and further back until I think we could hold hands only and kiss goodbye. But, we waited until our second night together…too tired the wedding night!!! We are both proud of keeping to our convictions.

    But, my husband and I were talking about this question and we both agreed that it actually is a turn on for some guys because they are the first and hopefully only. So, there are no comparisons to deal with. I’m not suggesting that you do it my way, but to me it is not unusual…people just don’t talk about it and the media portrays it as that you are defective if you haven’t had sex yet. However, there could also, as stated above, be other underlying issues like with me that may need to be explored in therapy.

    If you hang around people who are “religious” (which I do not consider myself), you won’t feel the pressure. However, you should note that premarital sex and sexual promiscuity has about the same rate as in the general population…it just is not talked about and that is a whole other issue.

12. Dr. KC

    12|Oct|2008 12

    Dear Clinically Clueless,

    I’m thrilled that you did what you felt was best for you both (your husband and yourself) and you have nothing that you regret, but to the controversy, feel good about doing!

    You’re correct, in my opinion, that the people with whom you surround yourself, often have a great way of pressuring and persuading. That is why it is important to be in the company of those who are a good influence, especially if one is not strong enough to stick to their own convictions and can be persuaded by others, only to leave feeling badly about the decisions they were “talked” into doing.

    I believe that it takes a certain kind of self esteem and strength to do what you did and to stand by what you believe. I give you great kudos for that!

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m so happy to see you writing here!

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

13. VV

    15|Oct|2008 13

    Free world to make your own choice. What an honour to be chosen as that special guy.

14. Dr. KC

    15|Oct|2008 14

    Dear VV,

    I could not agree with you more. Thank you so much for your comment.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

15. Hisham

    27|Oct|2008 15

    First of all I agree with your answer, but I would like to say that the question it self sounds weird, it should be reversed, like the old days.. when women was more concerned about their virginity!

    In the case of the one who asked this question, I think there is nothing to worry about, she is in a very good condition, I think she better get married with the lucky person.

16. Women Healthy Tips

    30|Oct|2008 16

    First i agree with you Dok…but we have to decide by myself

17. Dr. KC

    02|Nov|2008 17

    Dear Hisham,

    Everyone has their opinion of what is right or wrong, but at the end of the day, every person must make the decision(s) with which they themselves can live. It’s important that each person be comfortable and happy with the choices they make.

    Thank you for your comment! It’s always great to hear from you!
    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

18. Dr. KC

    02|Nov|2008 18

    Dear Women Healthy Tips,

    Yes, every person (man or woman) must make these important decisions for him/herself.
    Thank you for your comment.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

19. Hassaneen

    03|Apr|2009 19

    hello there
    let me say something here…i am a man 31 years old and i still virgin too,there is nothing wrong with my health and also i am not gay or homo,i just don’t want o make this kind of move without thinking,because its too important to me that i should do that only with the one i really love till i die,but the thing is,,i didn’t find the right woman for me,most of them looking for money and what car i should have,i just wait for a woman see her beautiful soul through her eyes,not through her body or her hair and eye color.

    Thanks.

20. Doc KC

    08|Apr|2009 20

    Dear Hassaneen,

    Thank you so much for your comment. Your choice is extremely respected here, as you wait to do what you know is right for you. Others should be just as confident and secure as you seem to be in your sexuality and moral values!

    All my very best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com