12 Responses

1. diana

   18|Nov|2008 1

   Fabulous video.. Thank you so much for addressing the fact that we are all different and one shoe (diagnosis) does not fit us all.

2. Laurie

   19|Nov|2008 2

   Intense video. Insightful….
   As I have told you before, my son was tested as BPD. I can see a lot of him in this video. His anger outbursts were horrible. At times I was scared of him. He bullied me at these times, broke things, put holes in my walls and on and on and on. He is now away at college. I don’t believe it is going too well. So my questions to you Doc are as follows:

   Does a person with BPD ever get to a point where they enjoy life, have a feeling of joy and can function at a level that enables them to keep a job and have healthy relationships?

   And….

   Since my son has left home, the hell that was my home is now peaceful. My younger son has come out of his shell and is enjoying a healthier home environment. I am afraid that my older son will want to come back home. I don’t know if I can do that to my younger son or myself. My marriage has grown so much stronger since my older son went to college. I am afraid my husband won’t have it in him to tell this son he cannot move back home. Is it horrible to not allow him to move back home? He is 19. How much help should I give him without either enabling him or setting myself up in a bad situation?

   This post came at the perfect time. Thanks Doc!!!

3. Doc KC

   20|Nov|2008 3

   Dear Diana,

   I’m glad you enjoyed the video. It made BPD very real and described it better than any textbook could.

   Yes, it is important to remember that everyone travels in different shoes. That is for sure.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

4. Doc KC

   20|Nov|2008 4

   Dear Laurie,

   I felt the video to be very intense as well and I have been told that its power has evoked lots of emotions in many who have viewed it.

   You ask me some very important questions here, Laurie, and I would love to answer them, but it would be impossible to do them justice in this type of forum. I suggest you speak to a professional about your family situation and have them help you to make decisions that will benefit everyone.

   If you would like to talk to me about the specifics and be assited to make the right decision for your family, write to me here and we can talk in detail about all the possibilities when your eldest son leaves college.

   I can tell you this, however…the research states that Borderline Personality Disorder is not curable, meaning it does not go away. The experts say that it is difficult to treat and medications usually do not work. However, as I have mentioned in my other article on BPD, a person can indeed experience joy and do the best he/she can to live a happy life if they work really hard at it. There is always hope when one holds onto it.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

5. raven hawk

   05|Dec|2008 5

   Wow. What an incredible video. The use of music with pictures captures the feelings so very well. Since that is a part of my diagnosis all I could do is say OMG. This captures it so very well. It is true so very few understand BPD. Yes, there is a lot of shame around it for me, yet with help I realized that it was my upbringing that (for lack of better wording) induced this. My childhood.

   I learned at an EARLY age to control that anger and yes, it is suppressed to depression. There was a time to this day I am too ashamed to talk about (some do know) about what I did when I was a kid. It only happened once, yet it was so profound that it took me to the place of repressing all anger. I still have shame about what I did to this very day. Still.

   Yes, I do get complusive, trying to take the pain away - for me it is spending and not really on me for other people. I am much much better at the black and white thinking. I learned CBT when I was hospitilized once. I was out patient for six months. It was the best 6 months I had, learning about me. Where all this came from and the WHY’S. I learned so much from the CBT. It was intense, hard and good. I can honestly say some of my behaviors have truly changed and I am aware of those that do need changing.

   It is when I screw up from my behavior from this, when I can’t fix it, I will fall into depression, anxiety and even black white thinking. Here I think “I am all better” and BAM, it is at my front door knocking. Those are huge lessons for me, yet, it still is hard to take the falling into the pit away. The darkness sometimes will still call. This is when I have screwed up OR FEEL (and a lot of times it is a wrong perception) I have it will take a hold of me.

   I AM GREAT AT PUTTING ON MASKS for I have done that all my life. When my father died is when all this started to happen to me. The tramatic event of watching a man I loved so much die in front of me was too much. The events to follow were worse. So I learned. Yes, I learned how to put on that mask. Sometimes I am not so good at it. The depression still seeps through.

   I am doing better with my thinking now, yet watching that video, I still can say, OMG that is me. The last time I hurt myself was in 1995. I slammed my hand against the wall, against my car hood (which I actually dented). Thankfully I was trained as an EMT for I could not allow myself to go to the hospital for a broken wrist/hand. I was ashamed at myself to even go down that route.

   This video is more than incredible. Words/Music/pictures say more than a whole text book can say. It hits right to the heart of it all. It hit right to my heart.

   I have to remember I HAVE COME A LONG WAY. Medications have helped and RE-LEARNING behavior. Also for me my spirituality has helped me so vey much.

   I am a bit speechless as this touches me that much. Thank you. It hits it right on the nail.

   Raven Hawk

6. Doc KC

   05|Dec|2008 6

   Dear Raven Hawk,

   You have a lot about which to be very proud! You have certainly come a long way and have learned so much. You have turned to many things to help you including CBT, medication and your spirituality. What an amazing combination.

   You should continue in therapy so that you can get past some of the things that still weigh you down with guilt or shame. Please know that everyone takes steps backwards at times, but that doesn’t mean we cannot continue moving forward. Never give up hope that you cannot surpass many of the issues you have been dealing with from the past or even in the present. The proof is in the pudding as they say. You have said yourself how far you have come in the learning process.

   I’m so glad you enjoyed the video. It was indeed very touching and moving. It really hit home for a lot of people and that was the purpose… So that people dealing with BPD understand they are not alone and that others truly do understand the symptoms and what people with BPD go through on a daily basis.

   Keep up your good work and BELIEVE that you can feel good. That’s when the healing begins. For anyone, IMO.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

7. Jackal

   15|Dec|2008 7

   Raven Hawk, I too was deeply touched by how well this video expresses the pain of BPD.

8. Doc KC

   21|Dec|2008 8

   Dear Jackal,

   I’m really glad you got so much out of this video. I do think it has deeply touched so many as it has you!

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

9. J.D. Meier

   25|Dec|2008 9

   It brings up an interesting point … is there a model for *normal* or even *good* personality?

   My cousin’s a chiropractor and she mentioned that there was actually no model of a good spine for the longest time, until finally an engineer became a chiropractor and created a model of an ideal spine.

   It’s great to know what the baseline is because then everything is just an adjustment towards an end in mind.

   I wonder what they did before the model

10. Doc KC

    25|Dec|2008 10

    Dear J.D. Meier,

    I’m not sure there is one model for “normal” or “good” personality. I think that every culture creates their own definition of what is “normal” or “good”. Many parts of the world share very different ideas.

    Talking about the “medical model” which is scientific in nature is very different than something that is subjective such as how someone should act or behave. So, again, every culture around the world creates their own. It’s so difficult to understand how something becomes socially acceptable or not. At least to me it is hard to comprehend.

    Thank you so much for this amazing comment!
    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

11. Dr. Salters-Pedneault

    04|Jan|2009 11

    Thanks for posting the video- very evocative. And, I appreciate the post- it is very hard for many people to understand that the combination of BPD symptoms can look very different for different people and still meet diagnostic criteria.

12. Doc KC

    05|Jan|2009 12

    Dear Dr. Salters-Pedneault,

    It is always my pleasure to post anything that I feel will be helpful to others. Everyone is indeed extremely unique and will have different symptoms to the same “diagnosis”. It’s important for people to be aware of this.

    Thank you so much for your comment! I’m glad you enjoyed the video.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com