26 Responses

1. Samantha

   31|Aug|2008 1

   KUDOS! I love this post. My Mom always told me I must love myself in order for others to love me.
   Thank you for your thoughts on this and reminding me to take inventory of my own self worth.
   Sam

2. Dr. KC

   31|Aug|2008 2

   Dear Sam,

   Thank you for your comment. You seem to have a very wise mother! Keep up the good work in taking care of yourself!

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

3. Lance

   31|Aug|2008 3

   Wow, this is really powerful thinking Dr. KC. We must love ourselves first. Do I? More recently, when I’ve really been working on doing the things I’m passionate about, do I really feel I love myself. And I think that’s because this whole process has helped me to better understand and know myself. And the more I understand who I am, and then work in alignment with what I desire - the more I love who I am. And I really do believe this has helped to strengthen relationships with my wife, my children, and those other I love and cherish. And now, reading this, I understand better how I’ve gotten to where I am today. Thank you!

4. Dude

   01|Sep|2008 4

   He sure said it all.

5. Laurie

   01|Sep|2008 5

   He says “I need to be whole and have a healthy relationship with myself first, so that I can give that person to the woman who is deserving of all I have to offer.”

   If we all realized how important that is, there would be a lot more fulfilled marriages and less divorce. So often we try to find someone to complete us when we really need to find someone to join us in our completeness and us in theirs.

   With his quote in mind, for those of us who have struggled with our self concept and other issues, why would we hesitate to improve ourselves so that we can offer our loved one the best us we have? That is why I don’t understand why some don’t make that step into therapy. I know it is risky, but I think it is more risky not to. You are risking not experiencing all out of your relationship and out of life that you can. Why would you wan to miss out on that?

   I do have a question for you Doc. I have heard that those who don’t love themselves, cannot love others. Do you find that to be true? Why do you think so or not so?

6. Jackal

   02|Sep|2008 6

   ‘Building Self Worth and Loving Yourself’ - and just how exactly does one do this?

7. Dr. KC

   02|Sep|2008 7

   Dear Lance,

   Thank you for sharing a little piece of yourself. It’s always appreciated. The more you know yourself and understand your own ways, the more you learn how to correct the things you do not care for in yourself and the happier you become. In return, those you love become happier as well. It’s a great cycle!

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

8. Dr. KC

   02|Sep|2008 8

   Dear Dude,

   He sure did! Thank you for your comment!

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

9. Dr. KC

   02|Sep|2008 9

   Dear Laurie,

   Thank you for your comment. Sometimes, it’s not easy for people to enter into therapy and there can be so many reasons as to why. Often people have had bad experiences in therapy in the past, had a therapist with whom they did not develop the relationship necessary for positive change, or they may be afraid of what they may find out about themselves when they begin to delve into their issues. These are only a few of the reasons.

   Please look for your question to be answered in an upcoming article. It’s a wonderful question and I want to give it the attention it deserves.

   All my best,
   Dr. KC
   http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
   http://www.GLCzone.com

10. Dr. KC

    02|Sep|2008 10

    Dear Jackal,

    If I could answer this question right here and now and have it be true for everyone, I would be a billionaire. Each person is an individual with unique and special qualities that makes them who they are.

    If a person does not love himself or like the person he is, he may need to delve deeply into the reasons. In my opinion, this requires one on one therapy or counseling to figure out what is going on in his life to make him unhappy with the person he is. There could be many factors. I have more information about self esteem on my main website at http://www.DOCintheBiz.com. Please visit the main site and click on the self esteem self help link. This may help to answer your question a little more.

    Thank you so much for your comment. Please continue reading and posting.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

11. Dr. Nicole Sundene

    03|Sep|2008 11

    What a wonderful story and example! Thanks for sharing this KC

12. J.D. Meier

    06|Sep|2008 12

    I’m a fan of love yourself first and be your own best friend. After all, no matter where you go, you always take you with you

13. Irene Sng

    06|Sep|2008 13

    Learning to love oneself is also an important skill. Some of us actually serve others first before self. It is noble, but, on the other hand becomes unfair to ownself. We as a human should also have our fair share of whatever available, including love. Your post about self-love is great. I agree that only being able to understand and love oneself, can a person be clear enough to share it with others. However, the extreme of self-love may lead to self-centreness. Therefore practice prudence it whatever we do will be the safer way.

14. Jack

    07|Sep|2008 14

    Great post !!

15. Dr. KC

    09|Sep|2008 15

    Dear Nicole,

    Thank you so much for your comment! I’m glad you liked the article and it’s always great to “see” you here!

    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

16. Dr. KC

    09|Sep|2008 16

    Dear J.D.,

    You’re absolutely right! We are the only ones who live with ourselves, feel what we feel and think what we think 24/7 no matter where we go or what we do! There is no escape! So, why not take your best friend around with you everywhere you go rather than someone you don’t love? And there truly are many healthy ways to learn to feel good about yourself and to love yourself.

    Thank you for your comment.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

17. Dr. KC

    09|Sep|2008 17

    Dear Irene,

    I really enjoyed your response. Thank you for commenting on this article.

    I agree with the idea that taking self love to a level that makes one a narcissist is another story. That’s not the kind of self love I talk about. I talk about the kind that gives one the confidence and feelings of self worth to make him or her be able to accomplish the things in life they want and to succeed in what they set out to do, to fulfill realistic dreams and goals, to be able to form healthy relationships, and most of all to find balance in all aspects of life leading to happiness and peace.

    We never want to be codependent and only do for others when it hurts us. We can avoid that by having self love. With self love and a good idea of our self worth, we can do for others unconditionally without ever becoming codependent!

    Thank you again for your great comment.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

18. Dr. KC

    09|Sep|2008 18

    Dear Jack,

    Thank you for your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

19. Tim Brownson

    09|Sep|2008 19

    Goot agree with everybody else, without self-love it’s difficult to love anybody else. The danger is that people get the wrong end of the stick and think that self-love = arrogance or pomposity or just selfishness. Not so and this guy got that.

    Having said that, I’m not sure about the wedding ring thing. Isn’t the likely to reduce his chances of attracting a mate, at least aone that is likely to be faithful one? Couldn’t he have just tattooed it on his arm or written a few post-it notes

20. Dr. KC

    09|Sep|2008 20

    Dear Tim,

    Thanks so much for your comment. I would love to share here what I shared with Benny when he commented to my article on Digg:

    @ Benny- Nothing like a great inspirational story for sure!!

    Perhaps this gentleman is not looking for a woman at this point, but ways to love himself and find his self worth. The wedding band can act as a visual reminder any time he may say something negative to himself. Sometimes visual reminders can be more powerful than any other outside force when we need an outside force to help us inside. Sometimes we need reminders to keep up with the positive self talk. Just as if you were to write a positive affirmation on a yellow sticky (for example) and post it to see and read everytime you need that little push to not get down about who you are.

    Differences of opinion are great, but I cannot see how this coping skill is something you condemn. In my opinion, whatever works for a person to help them through hard times or to give them strength when they need it, etc. is wonderful. There is no right or wrong, black or white. It’s what works for each unique and individual person. Just IMO.

    Doc KC

    You coaches always give me a run for my money! LOL! And I love it!
    Thank you again for your great comment.

    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

21. Dr. Geoffrey Rutledge

    11|Sep|2008 21

    I think your blog is great, and I would like to feature you on the new Wellsphere. We feature only the best health bloggers on our WellPages, which are special pages that our Health Knowledge Engine crafts to give our users answers to their health questions. We would feature you on all the pages on topics that our knowledge engine finds are related to your blog postings. Because we have over 2 million visitors each month (and we are growing rapidly), you would benefit from an expanded audience for your writings. If you would like us to feature you, send me an email to Dr.Rutledge@wellsphere.com

    Cheers, Geoff

22. Dr. KC

    14|Sep|2008 22

    Dear Geoff,

    Thank you for the consideration. It would be an honor.

    All my best,

    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

23. Lim Ee Hai

    26|Sep|2008 23

    This is a very touching message. What more can I say?

24. Dr. KC

    28|Sep|2008 24

    Dear Lim Ee Hai,

    What you said means the world! Thank you.

    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com

25. Jennifer

    29|Sep|2008 25

    That was so beautiful!! He’s got a good head on his shoulders.

    It reminds me - I have experienced some loneliness in my life (not in my marriage) recently and finally came to the conclusion that God had put me in this situation to grow to love myself and Him more so that I could better offer/give of myself to others. It’s not that I didn’t like myself, just saw it as an opportunity for more and more growth and self love and more appreciation of God’s blessings.

26. Dr. KC

    05|Oct|2008 26

    Dear Jennifer,

    Your words are beautiful as well. I’m so glad to hear you found what you needed to be on a great, healthy, and happy pathway to peace.

    Thank you for your comment.

    All my best,
    Dr. KC
    http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
    http://www.GLCzone.com