Comments on: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying? http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/ THINK WELL to FEEL WELL...It's All About Being Emotionally Healthy! Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:06:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Become a Man of Action | Employee & Management Goal Setting http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-24261 Become a Man of Action | Employee & Management Goal Setting Tue, 28 Jul 2009 11:47:46 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-24261 [...] Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying? (docinthebiz.com) [...] [...] Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying? (docinthebiz.com) [...]

]]> By: Life Can be a Beautiful Adventure | DOCintheBiz http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19574 Life Can be a Beautiful Adventure | DOCintheBiz Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:07:20 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19574 [...] of high quality. It’s all up to you and the decisions you make for yourself. My last article, “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying” shares some of these thoughts. No, don’t say, “But”, “I [...] [...] of high quality. It’s all up to you and the decisions you make for yourself. My last article, “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying” shares some of these thoughts. No, don’t say, “But”, “I [...]

]]> By: Doc KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19434 Doc KC Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:33:25 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19434 Dear Rich, Thank you for writing in and sharing that you enjoyed this post. I truly appreciate it. All my best, Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com www.GLCzone.com Dear Rich,

Thank you for writing in and sharing that you enjoyed this post. I truly appreciate it.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

]]> By: Doc KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19433 Doc KC Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:32:14 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19433 Dear Renee, You have a most beautiful attitude about life; one that many people (especially motivational speakers) share with you. Unfortunately, not all people can think this way. I believe that chemical imbalances are to blame, as they can truly alter a person's thought pattern(s) and make things a bit more difficult. I believe that all people do have the strengths and resources to get through all life's obstacles; however, they may need some extra help to find what is not so obvious to others who do not suffer with chemical imbalances. Thank you so much for writing and sharing your wonderful point of view. All my best, Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com www.GLCzone.com Dear Renee,

You have a most beautiful attitude about life; one that many people (especially motivational speakers) share with you. Unfortunately, not all people can think this way. I believe that chemical imbalances are to blame, as they can truly alter a person’s thought pattern(s) and make things a bit more difficult. I believe that all people do have the strengths and resources to get through all life’s obstacles; however, they may need some extra help to find what is not so obvious to others who do not suffer with chemical imbalances.

Thank you so much for writing and sharing your wonderful point of view.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

]]> By: rich filo http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19431 rich filo Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:47:44 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19431 Great Great post!!!! I really enjoyed it. Great Great post!!!! I really enjoyed it.

]]> By: Renee Schmidt http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19430 Renee Schmidt Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:46:29 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19430 I believe that life is for the living.. No matter what life throws at you, you must be strong enough to pick up the pieces and continue on knowing the sun WILL come out again. Things are never the same, but that does not mean other happiness can't be found. I believe that life is for the living.. No matter what life throws at you, you must be strong enough to pick up the pieces and continue on knowing the sun WILL come out again.
Things are never the same, but that does not mean other happiness can’t be found.

]]> By: Jason P. http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-19028 Jason P. Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:11:22 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-19028 Recent relevant example: My aunt has had vehicle problems for months(years.) Her fuel-inefficient van would cost $1,000-$1,500 to fix. (She does a paper route w/ my mom. With my mom doing the intensive labor - loading the papers, getting out, etc.) Anyways, the last 3 weeks my aunt has rented from a shyster for $250/wk. (And during Christmas wasted another $1,500 to this fellow for what turned out to be a $100 problem.) And she refuses to look for a beater or anything that might be an option. She has a vested life insurance policy worth an unknown amount - I assume maybe $4-5K. She's $30K+ in debt. Makes $1,500-$1,700 per month on the route - but can't get ahead. Meanwhile, my mother and I (begrudgingly, I come along - even though I did the auto trader search for them and did a cursory internet search for a $1,000 or less vehicle) go out to look for a vehicle my mother has only about $400 to spend in buying, hoping to "work out" some deal. Monday, my aunt gives this leach another $250 for another week. Now, I am not suppose to be upset or feel this is insane? My route pays their home equity, food and electric and the gas to run the route. I have $65 to get me to next Thursday, and I am short by $20. Yet, I am suppose to live with this. My aunt doesn't try because: 1) She knows it bothers me - and feels I ought to support her even when she does this stuff (She's OCD too) 2) Thinks I don't do enough - making money for them 3) Will have tantrums when mention anything negative about these issues, saying, "it's my money. I've helped you out...no one ever helps me. I always get screwed. You want me to always do what you want." I WANT OUT SO BAD. But I can never save a cent because: 1) They control me through money - the checks come to them because the route I've done for 4 1/2 years is in my mother's name. (Felony.) 2) They ration it out for gas only. I might get $20-40 here or there. But I am human - I eat & buy things most considered as daily purchases. I consider them luxuries. I have serious thoughts of taking the next small portion I get for gas money, a bus ticket bought in January to Baltimore and personal items and leaving. Because this has gone on for years- decades. No change is going to happen. I've reasoned, analyzed, pleaded, threatened and exploded in the last 4 years. Finances are terrible things to fight. But when someone WILL not HELP themselves, and HARMS you in the process, over and over, in a CARE LESS attitude - they want me to leave so they can BLAME me. (NO other relatives have contact with them.) Sorry it is so long...that's a wrap. Recent relevant example: My aunt has had vehicle problems for months(years.)

Her fuel-inefficient van would cost $1,000-$1,500 to fix. (She does a paper route w/ my mom. With my mom doing the intensive labor - loading the papers, getting out, etc.)

Anyways, the last 3 weeks my aunt has rented from a shyster for $250/wk. (And during Christmas wasted another $1,500 to this fellow for what turned out to be a $100 problem.)

And she refuses to look for a beater or anything that might be an option.

She has a vested life insurance policy worth an unknown amount - I assume maybe $4-5K. She’s $30K+ in debt. Makes $1,500-$1,700 per month on the route - but can’t get ahead.

Meanwhile, my mother and I (begrudgingly, I come along - even though I did the auto trader search for them and did a cursory internet search for a $1,000 or less vehicle) go out to look for a vehicle my mother has only about $400 to spend in buying, hoping to “work out” some deal.

Monday, my aunt gives this leach another $250 for another week.

Now, I am not suppose to be upset or feel this is insane?

My route pays their home equity, food and electric and the gas to run the route. I have $65 to get me to next Thursday, and I am short by $20. Yet, I am suppose to live with this.

My aunt doesn’t try because:
1) She knows it bothers me - and feels I ought to support her even when she does this stuff (She’s OCD too)
2) Thinks I don’t do enough - making money for them
3) Will have tantrums when mention anything negative about these issues, saying, “it’s my money. I’ve helped you out…no one ever helps me. I always get screwed. You want me to always do what you want.”

I WANT OUT SO BAD.

But I can never save a cent because:
1) They control me through money - the checks come to them because the route I’ve done for 4 1/2 years is in my mother’s name. (Felony.)
2) They ration it out for gas only. I might get $20-40 here or there. But I am human - I eat & buy things most considered as daily purchases. I consider them luxuries.

I have serious thoughts of taking the next small portion I get for gas money, a bus ticket bought in January to Baltimore and personal items and leaving. Because this has gone on for years- decades.

No change is going to happen.
I’ve reasoned, analyzed, pleaded, threatened and exploded in the last 4 years. Finances are terrible things to fight.

But when someone WILL not HELP themselves, and HARMS you in the process, over and over, in a CARE LESS attitude - they want me to leave so they can BLAME me. (NO other relatives have contact with them.)

Sorry it is so long…that’s a wrap.

]]> By: Doc KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-17706 Doc KC Mon, 25 May 2009 23:29:42 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-17706 Dear Laurie, Thank you for this extremely valuable information! We all can learn from the experiences of others. All my best, Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com www.GLCzone.com Dear Laurie,
Thank you for this extremely valuable information! We all can learn from the experiences of others.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

]]> By: Laurie http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-17675 Laurie Mon, 25 May 2009 15:38:57 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-17675 The therapist we used has a blog called www.simplemarriage.net. When I was seeing him, he used the model developed by Scott Sells to help us with our son. Sells has a book called "Parenting your out of control teenager" that was incredibly helpful. As far as our marriage therapy, our counselor is a fan of David Schnarch who wrote "Passionate Marriage" We worked on differentiation within our marriage. We were very fused. For me individually, I looked at my values, passions, and dreams and worked on my re-setting my mindset to view these things as reachable if I wanted them. I read the book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck which was helpful in helping me recognizing my fixed mindset and changing it. The workbook is "The self-esteem workbook". It references the Feeling Good handbook which I don't have. I do have the feeling good book. I got this workbook at half priced books but I noticed on amazon there is a workbook by Burns on anxiety. I might try that one next as my main struggle right now is anxiety. In the self esteem work book I took an anxiety inventory and scored "extreme anxiety". I'm not sure why I have such anxiety. I believe I trained my body from the several years of constant crises. My mom also had panic attacks and agoraphobia when I was a little girl so there may be a genetic factor. But I am determined to shed the anxiety somehow. I am also considering hypnosis but don't know how to find a reputable hypo therapist. I hope this information was helpful and what you were looking for. Have a super day! The therapist we used has a blog called http://www.simplemarriage.net. When I was seeing him, he used the model developed by Scott Sells to help us with our son. Sells has a book called “Parenting your out of control teenager” that was incredibly helpful. As far as our marriage therapy, our counselor is a fan of David Schnarch who wrote “Passionate Marriage” We worked on differentiation within our marriage. We were very fused. For me individually, I looked at my values, passions, and dreams and worked on my re-setting my mindset to view these things as reachable if I wanted them. I read the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck which was helpful in helping me recognizing my fixed mindset and changing it.

The workbook is “The self-esteem workbook”. It references the Feeling Good handbook which I don’t have. I do have the feeling good book. I got this workbook at half priced books but I noticed on amazon there is a workbook by Burns on anxiety. I might try that one next as my main struggle right now is anxiety. In the self esteem work book I took an anxiety inventory and scored “extreme anxiety”. I’m not sure why I have such anxiety. I believe I trained my body from the several years of constant crises. My mom also had panic attacks and agoraphobia when I was a little girl so there may be a genetic factor. But I am determined to shed the anxiety somehow. I am also considering hypnosis but don’t know how to find a reputable hypo therapist.

I hope this information was helpful and what you were looking for. Have a super day!

]]> By: Doc KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/#comment-17601 Doc KC Mon, 25 May 2009 03:41:51 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=98#comment-17601 Dear Laurie, Thank you for your kind comment on my article. I don’t know a single person who has not been overwhelmed by life at some point. You mentioned something extremely powerful here. The idea of others viewing physical pain differently, possibly as more serious than physical pain. And that emotional pain is seen as “crazy,” while physical pain is not. This is a very passionate topic for me. I believe I tried to tap into it a bit here in this article. I’m so glad that you hung in there until you finally found someone who could help you and your family through your troubled times. That is something for which to be very proud, as many would have given up after the first or possibly the second try. Do you know what modality your therapist used with you that worked so well? I always love to hear success stories and how they became successes. David Burns wrote a wonderful book entitled, “The Feeling Good Handbook.” Is this the book to which you are referring? All my wishes for continued success on your journey towards everlasting happiness, Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com www.GLCzone.com Dear Laurie,
Thank you for your kind comment on my article.
I don’t know a single person who has not been overwhelmed by life at some point. You mentioned something extremely powerful here. The idea of others viewing physical pain differently, possibly as more serious than physical pain. And that emotional pain is seen as “crazy,” while physical pain is not. This is a very passionate topic for me. I believe I tried to tap into it a bit here in this article.

I’m so glad that you hung in there until you finally found someone who could help you and your family through your troubled times. That is something for which to be very proud, as many would have given up after the first or possibly the second try. Do you know what modality your therapist used with you that worked so well? I always love to hear success stories and how they became successes. David Burns wrote a wonderful book entitled, “The Feeling Good Handbook.” Is this the book to which you are referring?

All my wishes for continued success on your journey towards everlasting happiness,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

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