29 Apr
Posted by: admin in: Depression, Online Counseling, Relationships, Self Worth/Self Esteem, Therapists/Counselors, Therapy/Counseling
By KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC
Finding a good therapist can be extremely difficult; however, once you do find the right person for you, it can prove to be well worth it and even life changing! Of course finding someone credentialed and licensed, experienced and competent is imperative; however, the therapeutic relationship between the therapist and the client is also vital. A deeply personalized relationship characterized by mutual trust, respect and understanding is essential for lasting therapeutic change to take place. The therapist should understand the very specific needs of the client. At the same time, the client should be responsible for choosing a therapist whom they feel can meet those needs.
Philosophies from some of the greatest moguls who have practiced Person-Centered, Adlerian, Gestalt, Existential, and Cognitive Behavioral therapies (just to name a few), adhere to the fact that the right therapist/client match will ultimately set the platform for successful therapeutic outcomes.
When it comes to finding a great face-to-face therapist or an online therapist (I will be using the name therapist to mean therapist, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist), I suggest the same steps for both to finding a great match for you.
For finding a face to face therapist, whether the psychotherapist is a psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.), a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC), a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), or a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), the first step I suggest is to call your insurance company and ask for a list of therapists in your area. You will be asked which kind of therapist you would like to see (listed above) and in what area you live or how far you are willing to travel. You can decide whether or not you want to see a female therapist or a male therapist. The insurance company will usually give you two (2) choices. They will either offer to read names, phone numbers, and addresses to you over the phone, or direct you to their website. Depending on how computer savvy you are, you may decide which you prefer. Sometimes the insurance company website can be confusing and if you get lost on it, you may just give up, so I often suggest if you don’t feel comfortable navigating around a website, allow the insurance company to read you names and numbers over the phone right then and there.
When you get names, write them down with phone numbers and addresses in a list. Your health insurance company should be very patient and helpful in sharing many names with you until you feel as though you have enough. You can always call back for more.
The next step is to start at the top of the list and call each therapist individually. Have your own patience here because you may get his/her voice mail or no answer at all. Just be persistent until you can actually get a therapist on the telephone to talk to you. You can also wait a day or so for calls back if you decide to leave a message, but then again, often when looking for a therapist, you are looking for instant gratification. Sometimes, you may just have to wait a little for the right person to return your call. If in that time, you find someone else, then go with him or her.
Use the phone for the very important initial contact to find out what the therapist is like. You should have a mini “interview” to see if your personalities match, if the therapist specializes in your area(s) of concern, and if the vibe feels comfortable. I understand that therapists are busy, but so are you, and if he or she is not willing to give you the time needed to determine compatibility, then that should tell you something. Trust your gut instinct. If you’re not feeling comfortable, move on and contact another therapist. The therapist should be asking questions of you also, to see if he or she is the best one for you as well.
Here, at http://DOCintheBiz.com, I have website dedicated to explaining who I am, self help links with general information on emotional/mental health issues, what online therapy is all about, including the pros and cons of it, and a way to determine if it is for you. I also provide this blog for general learning purposes and so that perspective clientele can get a feel for who I am and whether or not we may be a nice fit for a therapeutic relationship. An inexpensive first consultation e-mail is offered to confirm that there is a fit, and we go from there.
In my opinion, the process of finding a good therapist is truly all about finding a good match. Your emotional/mental health is extremely important and should not be taken lightly. If you end up with an incompatible therapist who either tells you what to do or just isn’t right for you, this could ruin your view of therapy and scare you away from what can potentially change your life for the better. Every one needs something different when it comes to therapy and that is why there are so many different kinds of therapists and so man different models of (and approaches to) psychotherapy. It may seem like an overwhelming process, but stick with it for the results can prove tremendous!
A truly good therapist asks you the right questions to guide you in finding the answers that are best for you. Afterall, no one knows you better than you know yourself. Good luck and please visit us at http://DOCintheBiz.com for our mental health self help links and the opportunity to email Dr. KC for professional and confidential help with any concerns you may have!
This article is copyrighted by DOCintheBiz.com and may be respectfully re-distributed for non-commercial educational purposes granted that website link and author credit remain intact.
12 Responses
LeslieMannitte
02|May|2008 1Difficult??? Wow, that is sure true. I have been to several therapists.
Some stare at me and sit there in silence. What the heck? And I paid for that? I know what my problems are and I want help solving them or help making my life better. I don’t want someone to figure out how my life in the crib was 39 years ago.
I am going to give your on line therapy a try.
Worth a try I sure hope.
Dr. KC
05|May|2008 2Dear Leslie,
It is indeed very difficult to find a therapist with whom you “match” well. My suggestion is keep interviewing as many therapists on the phone or online as you can until you feel comfortable enough to actually pay to correspond with one. Make sure that you are interviewing him/her as much as he/she may be interviewing you. Your emotional/mental health is extremely important and should not be taken lightly. Therefore, it is very important to never settle for a therapist with whom you are not comfortable.
In addition, once you are in counseling, a therapist will want to know about your past and how you were raised. One’s upbringing as a child often has a direct correlation with how he/she has learned to cope and handle certain situations as adults.
By discussing what we have learned from our caregivers as we have grown up over the years, we often figure out why we act in the ways we do in situations of uncertainty, anxiety, and/or controversy. The good news is that once we realize from where our behaviors have stemmed, we can “unlearn” bad habits or ways we react to situations and learn new ways to respond to contention. Hence, we learn how to better resolve conflicts in our lives.
Please feel free to write in to http://www.DOCintheBiz.com anytime for personalized help with any issues you may be having.
Thank so you much for you comment and please keep reading.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
What is the Best Way for a Therapist to Help a Client in Need? | DOCintheBiz
22|May|2008 3[...] How to Find a Good Therapist [...]
Cathy McD
27|Jun|2008 4I just found this post from you and I think it is so great.. So much good sound advice!!!!
Doc KC
27|Jun|2008 5Dear Cathy,
I’m so glad that you have found this article useful! I wish you the best of luck in finding what you need. Please write in again for any additional help.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
rosey l
01|Jan|2009 6Hello,
I just got a phone call from my friend who told me to go to your site and read this article, so here I am.
I think you are just the Doctor I need to help me. I will be registering and hope to hear from you soon.
Happy New Year.. and I wish I had found you sooner.
Doc KC
02|Jan|2009 7Dear Rosey,
I’m glad that my website is being recommended by others. Thank you for visiting, reading and commenting. I look forward to receiving your email and developing a wonderful working relationship with you.
All my best for a great New Year,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Ed
13|Mar|2009 8Thank you so much for these suggestions. I followed them and although it took some time and patience, I did end up finding a great therapist who is helping me get through a really rough patch in my life.
Thanks Doc. I’m really glad I found you. You definitely saved me from wasting a lot of time and money! You rock!
Doc KC
14|Mar|2009 9Dear Ed,
I’m so glad I could be here to give you the suggestions you need. What I have shared in this article is the way that I have found the best success in finding just about any kind of doctor.
After using this way to find a therapist, many have shared that they have found success in finding someone great for them. They were thankful that they didn’t waste time and money meeting several therapists for the first time without knowing anything about them, only to find out that there wasn’t that right fit.
All my best to you,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Zachary
30|Mar|2009 10Dear Dr. KC,
I have had such terrible experiences with psychologists that I am certain were just out for my money. They didn’t care about me at all and only about me paying my bill. I have been suffering with some terrible anxiety and this only made things worse.
There is so much more to me than my wallet and I don’t feel as though anyone really cares.
Thank you for writing this article. I’m glad that I found it. You seem to truly care for people and share so unselfishly with us. I have read almost all of your articles, but this is the first time I really just had to come out of my shell and comment.
Thank you for all you do.
Zachary P.
Doc KC
01|Apr|2009 11Dear Zachary,
Thank you most sincerely for the very kind words. I make it my life’s work to help others in any way I can. It’s not all about money. It’s about the human heart, mind, spirit and soul and truly making a difference.
I’m sorry that you have had such bad experiences. I hope that you will not give up and keep searching for someone to help you with your anxiety issues. Anxiety is certainly treatable; however, you do have to work with someone that is right for you. If you have any other questions, please write to me.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.om
Earl Fisher
27|Aug|2010 12Is it possible to talk to Dr. Kelly? My wife suffers from pesticide contamination illness which truly effects our relationship. Is there a therapist who is familiar with pesticide contamination as well as therapy? Simply saying that she has OCD will not help.
Please help. We live in Santa Monica, California.
Thank you, Earl Fisher
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