Comments on: How We Make Others Feel http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/ THINK WELL to FEEL WELL...It's All About Being Emotionally Healthy! Tue, 06 Jan 2009 06:37:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Dr. KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-117 Dr. KC Mon, 05 May 2008 16:21:10 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-117 Dear Jeunelle, What you say is very true of eye contact. It is important in so many ways. Some cultures, however, do have rules regarding eye contact, so we must stay cognizant of that as well. You couldn't be more correct when you show concern and apprehension when developing online relationships since you cannot see to whom you are speaking. In these cases, you must use very good judgment and insight into what you read and write when you connect with someone online. I would never rule out getting to know someone in this type of forum, however. I'd love for you to read some of my posts that speak to the pros and cons of online counseling as they discuss what can be learned from another through the art of writing where there is obviously no eye contact or body language (for that matter) to “read.” You are without doubt a seemingly very intelligent woman who knows to be careful and take her time to get to know someone in this kind of medium before truly exposing your emotions and yourself to anyone who you cannot “see.” Online communication can be an incredible medium for developing all different kinds of associations from friendships to therapeutic relationships. But you are on the right track! Take your time to get to know someone online before you give your trust. Thank you so much for your comment and please keep reading! Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com Dear Jeunelle,

What you say is very true of eye contact. It is important in so many ways. Some cultures, however, do have rules regarding eye contact, so we must stay cognizant of that as well.

You couldn’t be more correct when you show concern and apprehension when developing online relationships since you cannot see to whom you are speaking. In these cases, you must use very good judgment and insight into what you read and write when you connect with someone online.

I would never rule out getting to know someone in this type of forum, however. I’d love for you to read some of my posts that speak to the pros and cons of online counseling as they discuss what can be learned from another through the art of writing where there is obviously no eye contact or body language (for that matter) to “read.”

You are without doubt a seemingly very intelligent woman who knows to be careful and take her time to get to know someone in this kind of medium before truly exposing your emotions and yourself to anyone who you cannot “see.” Online communication can be an incredible medium for developing all different kinds of associations from friendships to therapeutic relationships. But you are on the right track! Take your time to get to know someone online before you give your trust.

Thank you so much for your comment and please keep reading!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com

]]> By: Jeunelle Foster http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-107 Jeunelle Foster Sun, 04 May 2008 19:56:40 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-107 Eye contact is a sure way to read people correctly. How else would you know if someone is lying to you if they don't look you in the eye? It is very hard to read people correctly when we hide behind a computer. Building personal relationships with people over time can also assure you that those in your list of contacts are on the same page as you. Find ways of productively getting your messages sent incoming and outgoing via the eye is one way of getting your thoughts, will and concentration focused on it's aim. The eye must take aim and hit it's target with precision. It must be done effectively and accurately or you miss the target. Eye contact is a sure way to read people correctly.
How else would you know if someone is lying to you if they don’t look you in the eye? It is very hard to read people correctly when we hide behind a computer. Building personal relationships with people over time can also assure you that those in your list of contacts are on the same page as you.
Find ways of productively getting your messages sent incoming and outgoing via the eye is one way of getting your thoughts, will and concentration focused on it’s aim.
The eye must take aim and hit it’s target with precision.
It must be done effectively and accurately or you miss the target.

]]> By: Dr. KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-77 Dr. KC Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:45:43 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-77 Dear Tommy, It's so wonderful that you had a great role model to follow growing up and that the lessons learned from him, as well as from your mother, have carried over into your adult life. Experiencing first hand how other’s actions towards you can make you feel, is the best way of learning, I believe. You should be very proud of the fact that you make that extra effort to put smiles on people’s faces! Even if you cannot overtly see the smile, you can be assured they are most likely smiling on the inside because of how YOU make them feel worthy and important by the simple act of eye contact! Thank you for your comment and please keep reading. Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com Dear Tommy,

It’s so wonderful that you had a great role model to follow growing up and that the lessons learned from him, as well as from your mother, have carried over into your adult life.

Experiencing first hand how other’s actions towards you can make you feel, is the best way of learning, I believe. You should be very proud of the fact that you make that extra effort to put smiles on people’s faces! Even if you cannot overtly see the smile, you can be assured they are most likely smiling on the inside because of how YOU make them feel worthy and important by the simple act of eye contact!

Thank you for your comment and please keep reading.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com

]]> By: Tommy Buettner http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-73 Tommy Buettner Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:26:56 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-73 I have always made it a point to make eye contact with EVERYONE, whether personal or business. I grew up with a mother that would never look at me when I spoke, and I always got the feeling that what I said did not matter to her. It hurt a LOT. Whenever I spoke with my Dad, he ALWAYS looked at me, and that made me feel like what I was saying was important, that I was important. I decided a long time ago that I would be like him. That I would pay people the respect and courtesy that they deserve. I have always made it a point to make eye contact with EVERYONE, whether personal or business. I grew up with a mother that would never look at me when I spoke, and I always got the feeling that what I said did not matter to her. It hurt a LOT. Whenever I spoke with my Dad, he ALWAYS looked at me, and that made me feel like what I was saying was important, that I was important. I decided a long time ago that I would be like him. That I would pay people the respect and courtesy that they deserve.

]]> By: Jack Payne http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-68 Jack Payne Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:16:05 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-68 In face-to-face groups, eye-contact. Over the internet, name use. Same difference. Basic. In face-to-face groups, eye-contact. Over the internet, name use. Same difference. Basic.

]]> By: Dr. KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-67 Dr. KC Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:10:32 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-67 Dear Kiran, What an amazingly insightful contribution you made to this thread! Great ideas! You have substantiated even further the magnitude that eye contact has on people and on animals as well. Thank you for your comment and please keep reading. Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com Dear Kiran,

What an amazingly insightful contribution you made to this thread! Great ideas! You have substantiated even further the magnitude that eye contact has on people and on animals as well.

Thank you for your comment and please keep reading.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com

]]> By: Kiran Pande http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-66 Kiran Pande Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:19:53 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-66 Lets look at 'eye contact' in the larger perspective of its power in our lives. Its an important tool in communication and has a substantial influence on our social behavior. With an eye contact you can probe a mood, whether positive or negative or the responses you can expect. It can in some cases arouse strong emotions if it is with smile. An eye contact with an infant by an adult has a positive effect in number of times an infant smiles. Though a strong eye contact with animals especially dogs by children sometimes may be taken as a sign of aggression by a dog and may lead to a dog bite. Between opposite sexes, an eye contact may narrow the physical gap and can attract them to each other. In some cases, it can arouse them sexually, even without a word spoken. While flirting with PIP (Potentially Interesting Person), few seconds eye contact with a smile could be recommended but staring for longer period may be embarrassing for both and may yield negative results. However, an eye contact puts a strong mental demand to maintain it and you may feel relaxed once you break away from an eye contact. There fore it is recommended that this art must be practiced. Secondly, as we do not suggest a blank eye contact, a focused eye contact may distract us from the cognitive task at hand. This should be kept in mind. Finally, I strongly believe that an eye contact produces vibrations and an energy which can do wonders in a group or between individuals. The simple proof is even without a person in front of you, you get attracted looking at the face and eyes in a photograph or in a painting. Lets look at ‘eye contact’ in the larger perspective of its power in our lives.
Its an important tool in communication and has a substantial influence on our social behavior. With an eye contact you can probe a mood, whether positive or negative or the responses you can expect. It can in some cases arouse strong emotions if it is with smile. An eye contact with an infant by an adult has a positive effect in number of times an infant smiles. Though a strong eye contact with animals especially dogs by children sometimes may be taken as a sign of aggression by a dog and may lead to a dog bite.
Between opposite sexes, an eye contact may narrow the physical gap and can attract them to each other. In some cases, it can arouse them sexually, even without a word spoken.
While flirting with PIP (Potentially Interesting Person), few seconds eye contact with a smile could be recommended but staring for longer period may be embarrassing for both and may yield negative results.
However, an eye contact puts a strong mental demand to maintain it and you may feel relaxed once you break away from an eye contact. There fore it is recommended that this art must be practiced. Secondly, as we do not suggest a blank eye contact, a focused eye contact may distract us from the cognitive task at hand. This should be kept in mind.
Finally, I strongly believe that an eye contact produces vibrations and an energy which can do wonders in a group or between individuals. The simple proof is even without a person in front of you, you get attracted looking at the face and eyes in a photograph or in a painting.

]]> By: Dr. KC http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-65 Dr. KC Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:55:16 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-65 Dear Sienna, Yes, habits are hard to break for sure. Perhaps you can just give yourself some gentle “internal” reminders to give eye contact when you’re talking socially in a group of people. Try to make it into a game, perhaps. Look at each person’s eyes one at a time as you go around the circle, table, or where ever it may be. Just think to yourself that you’re going to be making each person you are talking to (1) feel part of the conversation (2) feel important and (3) feel special. Just a suggestion. I know this exercise is not easy, but it sure will make you feel good about accomplishing a goal and making people feel good!! Thank you for your comment and please keep reading! Dr. KC www.DOCintheBiz.com Dear Sienna,

Yes, habits are hard to break for sure. Perhaps you can just give yourself some gentle “internal” reminders to give eye contact when you’re talking socially in a group of people. Try to make it into a game, perhaps. Look at each person’s eyes one at a time as you go around the circle, table, or where ever it may be. Just think to yourself that you’re going to be making each person you are talking to (1) feel part of the conversation (2) feel important and (3) feel special. Just a suggestion.

I know this exercise is not easy, but it sure will make you feel good about accomplishing a goal and making people feel good!!

Thank you for your comment and please keep reading!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com

]]> By: Sienna http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-64 Sienna Mon, 28 Apr 2008 06:39:02 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-64 good reminder. I always maintain contact during presentation, because i am well aware that i need to keep their attention. however, when socializing with friends, i sometimes dont maintain eye contact. hmmm it's a bad habit since i was young. i was even worse back then, i didnt even manage to have eye contact with the person talking to me. i know it's bad, and am trying to change it. however, habit is really hard to change.. good reminder. I always maintain contact during presentation, because i am well aware that i need to keep their attention.

however, when socializing with friends, i sometimes dont maintain eye contact. hmmm it’s a bad habit since i was young. i was even worse back then, i didnt even manage to have eye contact with the person talking to me. i know it’s bad, and am trying to change it. however, habit is really hard to change..

]]> By: Dr. Nicole Sundene http://docinthebiz.com/blog/how-we-make-others-feel/#comment-62 Dr. Nicole Sundene Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:14:22 +0000 http://docinthebiz.com/blog/?p=31#comment-62 Weird I was just wondering why I wasn't getting updates from your blog. I tried re-subscribing so hopefully that will help. Great reminder on the eye contact! Weird I was just wondering why I wasn’t getting updates from your blog. I tried re-subscribing so hopefully that will help. Great reminder on the eye contact!

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