by KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC
Is Attitude Everything?
Someone asked the question, “Is attitude everything?” and referred to the idea that most of the greatest motivational speakers say that indeed attitude is everything. I’m going to declare that my personal belief and experience is that attitude is…let’s say…about 75% of what happens to us in our lives.
An earlier article I had written entitled “Where is the Grass Greener?”, I discussed the idea of our lives being controlled by a number of different intrinsic (internal such as our way of thinking) and extrinsic (external such as environmental) factors. A mixture of these dynamics play a huge part in how we think, feel and behave, hence, having a major effect on our emotional and physical wellness. Please refer to my article on “Where is the Grass Greener?” for more information on this idea.
So, allow me to break down what I believe makes up our personalities; the way we act, feel, think, behave and ultimately our overall emotional and physical wellness.
75% is intrinsic (our attitude, our thinking, and brain chemical activity)
20% is extrinsic (relationships, jobs, environmental factors)
5% is luck (fortune, chance, and fate)
This isn’t gospel here. This is just the way that one doctor thinks.
**I must make a note here that often times brain chemical activity cannot be controlled and creates what is called a disorder. Some example are: depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disordera, etc. Through a mixture of medication and therapy (usually Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT), there is a great success rate for learning how to cope with these mentioned disorders.
So, let me give you a quick personal example I personally witnessed. A gentleman, I will call Bob had a had gotten into a major motorcycle accident which resulted in severe shoulder/back permanent damage and the amputation of one his legs. This, no doubt is life altering for anyone. While many people put into this situation would have curled up in a ball thinking that their life was over, Bob was out of the hospital in ½ the time that someone else may have been. Why? My answer is because it was all in his attitude. He knew his life would be different, but he was willing to do what it took to make the best of it. What was his alternative? To live in misery, perhaps? Well, this not the route he chose and although his life is limited in certain ways, he does just about everything he has always done.
What made him think this way when someone else would think completely the opposite? That is a good question. Is attitude everything? Another good question.
Why not share what you think?
Please visit me at http://DOCintheBiz.com for mental health self help links and the opportunity to email me for professional and confidential help with any concerns you may have. You are never alone!
Dr. KC
http://DOCintheBiz.com
20 Responses
Richard
18|May|2008 1Hey Dr. KC, good thoughts on this subjects and I am going to post the link to this article at my discussion forum on blogcatalog. Thanks for your input.
Tim Brownson
18|May|2008 2I’m all over the place on my thinking about the whole brain chemical imbalance thing. The mind and body are so intrinsically linked that I’m not sure how we can tell which comes first. In other words, could the chemical imbalance actually be caused by some deep unconscious negative thought patterns? Or is the behaviors associated with issues such as bi-polar, depression etc inevitable because of the physical/chemical changes taking place first?
My gut feeling tells me it’s the former reason and that’s why people some people climb out of depression.
Attitude is critical and I think if people have the right attitude (whatever that is) then that can override external factors. They are the people that ALWAYS bounce back and they’re made up of the exact same stuff as you and me.
Dr. KC
18|May|2008 3Dear Richard,
Thank you for visiting and I would be honored for you to post my link in your discussion. I’m truly glad you found it informative and helpful enough to do so.
Thank you again! Please visit again, keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Just Bob
18|May|2008 4I agree that attitude can (and does) take the lead role in a person’s life. I also feel that other intrinsic factors, like chemical imbalances, can (and do) trump attitude. That may be the ultimate struggle of depression sufferers… which intrinsic factor controls the 75%. It’s a moving target, which makes everyday (indeed sometimes every hour) a battle.
Axecity
18|May|2008 5I think an attitude could be a real success factor or a nightmare to someone. I have read before that studies made by the British Medical Association and the American Medical Association have shown that as much as 80% of diseases are caused by mental attitudes.
One of the challenging things about personality attitude that I always keep thinking about is Locus of control. Some might think that internal locus of control and believing that you are controlling yourself and life is a good and positive thing, and claim that external locus of control belief has a negative impact on our personality attitude.
Actually, my personal opinion is lying in between. I believe that I am totally in control of what I can do as a human, however, there are many other factors that will still affect my life in some way which is impossible or less likely to be controlled.
To me, thinking that way gives more relief, confidence and improves productivity rather than being unfair to myself and overloading it with things beyond its limits.
Benny Greenberg
18|May|2008 6Well considering the fact that I write the YA-TTITUDE Blog, I am going to give you props on an all-out assault on attitude. Just so everyone is clear attitude is a huge force in the design and the progress for your future. But you need to be careful of the sneaky bad attitude - which is just as strong as good attitude.
When you give positive you get positive and when you get positive you give positive too…
Stay positive in in all you do - especially your attitude.
Benny
http://www.ya-ttitude.com
Glen
19|May|2008 7VERY INSPIRING! brilliant post Doc
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 8Dear Just Bob,
Thank you for your comment and know that you have inspired me to write the article I just posted entitled: Are there such things as true brain chemical imbalances?
I think that if more people were educated to the idea that there are real brain chemical imbalances with which people suffer, there would be a lot more understanding towards those going through the misery of what we call mental or emotional disorders. When a person is inflicted with an actual disorder, attitude has a lot to still do with changing thoughts, feelings and behaviors; however, I agree with you that the imbalance ultimately “trumps” everything.
Please refer to my article and let me know what you think.
Thank you again for your comment. Please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Tim Brownson
19|May|2008 9I’ve done it Doc, I’ve called you out!
Gotta have a bit of fun because I have pondered this and believe attitude is EVERYTHING! I guess I’m just one of those motivational rah-rah types
http://www.adaringadventure.com/blog/wordpress/life-coaching/attitude-is-everything/
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 10Dear Tim,
I thank you for your comment and appreciate and respect your beliefs.
I do think you have gotten my overall idea incorrectly though, as I was not referring to “attitude” only in the respect of “success” or “failure”. I was referring to how a person’s life can be altered severely by brain chemical imbalances that lead to debilitating disorders such as anxiety and depression.
I speak of more in detail about this idea in my article: Are there such things as true brain chemical imbalances?
I do believe that attitude is indeed (for the most part) everything when it comes to a person who does not have neurotransmitters misfiring. However, when you do have chemicals, beyond your control, playing a part in your life, this severely changes everything.
Take a child with a chemical imbalance. Can you say that you can tell that child that they have to change their attitude and just go to a friend’s house to play when they are resistant to go because they have been having debilitating and horrific panic attacks that they cannot even describe or explain because they don’t know how to do so? They would rather be around their safe place or safe person during these attacks to at least bring a bit of comfort to this mystifying and confusing phenomenon that “takes over him/her.” Attacks are often uncued and hence, creates the anticipatory anxiety that leads to not wanting to go to the party for fear they will have an attack there. I hope this sheds some sort of light for you to understand from where I am coming.
Thank you for your comment and please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 11Dear Glen,
Thank you so much for your comment! I love to hear when I inspire anyone!
Please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 12Dear Benny,
I agree with you whole heartedly about attitude and its effect on everything one does in his/her life.
My only deviation from this point is when it comes to those who suffer with true brain chemical imbalances. Please see my article entitled: Are there such things as true brain chemical imbalances?
Yes, as I’ve said many times before attitude can help with coping skills to deal with symptoms and the willingness to try medications to help, but one’s attitude alone cannot make the disorder disappear.
Believe me when I take the liberty to say that those out there suffering with any type of mental/emotional disorder, wishes attitude adjustment could take away their disorder(s).
Thanks for your comment and please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 13Dear Axecity,
Thank you for sharing those statistics from the AMA and the BMA. If they are talking about physical diseases, I would have believed them without even seeing them in print. Mental attitude has so much to do with healing, and stress levels have been proven to lead to physical ailments.
When dealing with the “myth of control” I advise people not try to think that one can control or should be in control over everything they do or face in life. This can turn into a problem within itself when extrinsic factors get in the way, i.e, other people or environmental factors. No one can have total control over all situations and when they think they can, and find out they don’t, this can cause major turmoil. You do seem to understand this idea and live your life accordingly. Kudos to you!
Thank you for your comment and please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
19|May|2008 14Dear Tim,
I am answering both your comments. This is for the first comment you left.
I can appreciate and respect your thinking and being “all over the place” as you said, about true brain chemical imbalances. Yes, the mind and body are indeed very intrinsically linked as I have written about in my article,
Where Is The Grass Greener?
and it most certainly IS difficult to determine which comes first. The mind creating the disturbance, or the chemicals in the brain creating the physical symptoms which disturb us.
I have to say that everyone does have their own opinion on this topic and it can often times be a very touchy subject.
I have responded to you more fully in my article entitled:
Are there such things as true brain chemical imbalances?
Thanks for your comment and please keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Tim Brownson
19|May|2008 15I think I understood what you meant and here’s a question I’d like to ask. Does this happen with kids say under the age of about 3? In other words can they prove that the mis-firing is the cause of the behavior and not the other way round?
I thought that was the subject of debate. I may be way out of line on this and I am a layperson with that very dangerous thing, a little knowledge, so I’d welcome being told I’m wrong.
And of course I’ll carry on reading it’s a cool blog
Dr. KC
20|May|2008 16Dear Tim,
I read you to believe that I was talking about attitude as it is associated only with success, but I was not limiting it to only that. You and I have one (of many) similar ways of helping people. I too, am a life coach. I work with changing attitudes, thought patterns, self talk, etc., to help people reach their goals. The debate about the idea whether or not intrinsic and extrinsic factors that get in the way of fulfilling goals can be debated endlessly.
That is why one therapist may be for one person and not right for another. I think it’s a beautiful thing to have these great choices of different kinds of doctors, therapists, and/or life coaches.
I have added another article which I think may be of interest to you. It is entitled:
Attitude, Success, and the Things that Hold us Back
My next article will discuss your question about chemical imbalances in young children. Please come back for that information.
Thank you so much for writing and I hope you will keep reading and posting.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Principles for Peace » Blog Archive » The Art of Peaceful Bill Paying
21|May|2008 17[...] As Tim Brownson says, Attitude is Everything! although Doc KC says some other factors play a role in our thinking. (Doc KC has some very valid points, but I have to say I lean more [...]
Dr. KC
21|May|2008 18To the writer of the post who referenced my article,
I appreciate the reference made to my article, but please keep in mind that I feel there are MANY factors that lead to making change in our lives. I bring up all sides of coin, so to speak, and do not lean one way or another.
I do recognize that there are many different factors that are involved in making changes in our lives and do not just look at the situation at black and white. i.e. Change your attitude, change you life. I try to bring out all possibilities, medical conditions, and personalities.
I don’t know how anyone can debate the tons and tons of medical journals that are out there that speak towards chemical imbalances. I’m NOT saying that everyone has one, however.
Don’t get me wrong, for those with healthy brain functioning, changing attitude CAN BE EVERYTING in changing your life, but SOMETIMES, other factors get in the way.
Thank you for allowing me to express this point.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Jennifer
21|May|2008 19“75% is intrinsic (our attitude, our thinking, and brain chemical activity)
20% is extrinsic (relationships, jobs, environmental factors)
5% is luck (fortune, chance, and fate)”
To these things I would add that our attitude affects how we allow the extrinsic factors and “luck” to affect our lives. That’s the beauty of attitude. Before I recognized this I was a miserable wreck, just ALLOWING everything to affect who I was and my future.
Which come first - the thinking or the imbalance? I think it’s different for different people, but I think the majority of times the thinking comes first. Many doctors and our society have is all turned around.
I’ll post this helpful link once again for those who may not have yet read it. http://principlesforpeace.com/?p=37
Dr. KC
21|May|2008 20Dear Jennifer,
Which comes first? My belief is that a genetic imbalance comes first. This is something that is beyond our control, genetic, that with which we were born, and medical science has proven it to be true. That’s why medications change people’s lives.
Again, I’m not advocating for or against medications or the medical model. I’m just throwing it out there as a realistic part of life. Attitude and the rest come second when A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE is to blame for issues. Luck is just that. Yes, we can argue that we make our own luck, but sometimes, I question that too.
If one has ever suffered with true clinical depression or had a true panic attack, among other symptoms of true disorders he/she might think differently. Thank goodness for the medical model and therapists who understand it to help people with true imbalances and thank goodness for those who help people who are stuck in their lives and just need a little (or lot) of adjusting.
Thank you so much for your comment.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
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