08 May
Posted by: admin in: Anxiety, Depression, Stress Management
by KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC
I know it can be frustrating to want to help a person dealing with an issue or disorder who doesn’t want to help him/herself. I have come across that many times in my own career.
A comment on my previous post entitled, “Anxiety, The True Disorder” has inspired me to write this article on this very kind of person. The one who suffers with an anxiety disorder or another disorder, but is apprehensive or out right refuses to get the help they need.
When I come across a person with this hesitation to seek treatment, I try to delve a little deeper to figure out the reasoning behind the reluctance to seek help. I’m not quite sure that a person suffering with anxiety doesn’t “want” to help him or herself and chooses to instead, feel horribly. Instead, I understand that the treatment for anxiety disorders is often (unless one gets really lucky) a very difficult and long road.
Many times, people are put onto antidepressant medications which are extremely rough to handle (as far as the side effects) and hence, the person gets off them. Side effects of these kinds of medication can be few or they can range from extreme nausea to complete loss of sexual libido, to dizziness, and the list goes on. If a person experiences these symptoms and they become unbearable, they begin to lose hope and are really tired of suffering from the medication. That’s when no action comes into play as they see the medication as making them worse off then they were before.
Coping skills are many, but also take a lot of work to master. Some just simply don’t work and the person trying may feel discouraged that anything will work and they give up. Or, many coping skills are so simple to do that people often dismiss their success rate and don’t follow through. Isn’t that just a human trait to not follow through anyway? This “human trait” actually gives a little normalcy to someone with this disorder, which is not a bad thing. However, we have to pass over this and continue on the journey to find the coping skill that will work for the individual to help them through times of high anxiety, panic attacks or the lows of the depression, for an example.
When learning coping skills to deal with the symptoms of anxiety, one must be consistent in their use and practice them like any other skill they would “practice to become perfect” in doing.
So, although it is frustrating to want to help someone who is seemingly resistant to the help, we have to begin to understand the motivation behind their refusal or apprehension to accept help. I know few people who truly want to suffer, but instead enjoy living with any kind of disorder. If clinicians, family members, or even friends, take the time to truly understand why the person shows a lack of enthusiasm or unwillingness to try a medication or coping skill, they may find different insight into the whole pattern.
Please visit us at http://DOCintheBiz.com for our mental health self help links and the opportunity to email Dr. KC for professional and confidential help with any concerns you may have regarding anxiety or any other issues you may be facing! We are here. You are never alone!
This article is copyrighted by docinthebiz.com and may be respectfully re-distributed for non-commercial educational purposes granted that website link and author credit remain intact.
16 Responses
The Anxiety Disorder Client-Apprehensive to Treatment?
08|May|2008 1[...] Original post by DOCintheBiz [...]
Benny Greenberg
08|May|2008 2To quote the Doc:
“If clinicians, family members, or even friends, take the time to truly understand why the person shows a lack of enthusiasm or unwillingness to try a medication or coping skill, they may find different insight into the whole pattern.”
You see - this is why working with KC is just terrific. She cares and will do whatever has to get done to make it right!
Benny
Dr. KC
08|May|2008 3Dear Benny,
I’m glad you like my original quote there.
I do my very best. I want to treat others the way I would want to be treated, especially in a medical/therapeutic situation where the person is in a much more vulnerable state.
Just a little extra caring goes a long way.
Thanks for your comment and please keep reading!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. Nicole Sundene
08|May|2008 4I agree with this whole heartedly. From a motivational interviewing standpoint my first question would probably be “So what is it that you like about your anxiety?”
People tend to hold on to things for particular reasons and when we can display the incongruencies in behavior and work with those we can usually make some really great progress.
Personally I think most people in America are addicted to anxious behavior. We rush around, have road rage, stress over the most ridiculous things and in the end we are killing ourselves slowly from stress.
What the stress does for us though is gives us an “adrenal high” similar to what one would get from using street drugs like cocaine or being overcaffeinated.
The one thing I have realized though is that just because I may not be able to help someone does not mean I can’t plant the seed so that another practitioner will be able to help them further down the line…
Just Bob
08|May|2008 5Change is scary, and someone who suffers from anxiety already sees more upheaval and uncertainty as their lives as unbearable. I’ve suffered from a relatively mild case of anxiety, but it takes a leap to do something to add to your unstable life.
I took the leap, took the ativan, did the therapy, and don’t need the medication anymore (although I’m sure more therapy wouldn’t hurt). IMHO, those who are involved with an anxiety sufferer need to be supportive, non-judgmental, and pledge to bring some stability to their lives as they plunge headfirst into the scary area of change.
Amelia Burton
09|May|2008 6Hi Doc,
Have you found exercise (such as yoga, walking, running) have any impact on Anxiety disorders. Do you think it is something that can be prescribed, or does it depend on the severity of the disorder?
Amelia
Dr. KC
09|May|2008 7Dear Doc Nicole,
I think what you are talking about here is every day stress and anxiety, which is gravely different than a true anxiety disorder and it is very important to make that distinction before moving forward.
When you do talk about these daily kinds of stresses and/or anxieties, you bring up great points!! I could hypothesize that what people “like” about their daily anxiety is that it is a great motivator to help them complete daily responsibilities and without it, procrastination and laziness may prevail. You ARE correct though, we need to learn to slow down because in the end, as you know, stress IS indeed a killer. A great discussion question!
You’ve made me think about your statement about being “addicted to” anxious behavior just as one would be addicted to street drugs and it brings up more great questions. Thank you so much for planting these seeds for ME for further research and discuss.
Planting the seeds for encouraging people to get help…there is nothing better than that!
Thank you so much this thought provoking comment and please keep reading.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
09|May|2008 8Dear Bob,
You couldn’t be more correct in your statement that change is difficult for anyone, let alone for the anxiety sufferer! The person who suffers with this kind of chemical imbalance thrives for consistency and stability to help to reduce fear and almost anything that brings them out of their comfort zone (depending on the severity of their disorder) will cause upheaval.
Usually in the “getting help process,” one’s anxiety will increase before it decreases. Control issues come into play with anxiety disorders as well. Certainly, the fear of something changing or taking a medication, takes control away from a person, hence, creating more anxiety!
It takes extreme courage to actually commit to making change and I commend you on how you have done so! Having supportive, non-judgmental family and friends around is imperative for treatment as well. You have that 100% correct.
Thank you so very much for your comment and please keep reading.
Please also remember to visit http://www.DOCintheBiz.com/subscribe.html for any help that I could possibly offer on a one to one basis. You are not alone!
Be gentle to yourself.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC
09|May|2008 9Dear Amelia,
There are many external forces that cause stress in our lives such as our jobs to traffic, to relationship issues, etc. These stressors can have a direct effect on the firing of the neurotransmitters in the brain that act as catalysts for anxiety and panic attacks.
To answer your question, yes, any kind of calming practices including yoga, meditation, progressive relaxation, deep breathing, as well as exercise can have a direct impact on anxiety disorders and the frequency of attacks brought on by stress.
This does not mean that doing yoga, for example, can cure one from the disorder, but keeping a more stress-free, calm, and stable lifestyle definitely helps to reduce the frequency of attacks caused by external forces.
For help finding what might be a great plan for you or someone you know to reduce their anxiety levels, please write in to me at http://www.DOCintheBiz.com/subcribe.html and email me there. No one is alone with their anxiety disorder. I’m glad you found me!
Be gentle with yourself.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Glen
11|May|2008 10Your replies to your comments are incredibly informative. It’s so nice to see such commitment passion and generosity of your knowledge to those who express an interest in your work. It adds a testimony to the quality of your consultancy email support.
Dr. KC
12|May|2008 11Dear Glen,
Thank you so much for these kind words. I am so happy to be able to provide you and others with great information. Helping one person at a time is my motto!
Please keep reading and posting!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
anxiety disorder cure
13|May|2008 12anxiety disorder cure…
Most sources you most likely won’t have everything you are searching for….
anxiety disorder cure
13|May|2008 13Locating the top anxiety disorder treatment information is not always easy.
Dr. KC
15|May|2008 14Dear Anxiety Disorder Cure,
I am thrilled that you were able to find my blog and get some great information on anxiety disorders!
Thanks for your comment!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
YogaforCynics
22|Jul|2008 15I think it’s important to note that there are a number of reasons that a person might be resistant to treatment, which do not necessarily signify that the person doesn’t want to be helped, and that don’t necessarily have to do with the “long road” of treatment or side effects of drugs. Specifically, a lot of people have had bad experiences with “help” in the past that, in fact, harmed them. In some cases, this has been due to abusive treatment. In many others, however, it was therapists providing what was considered to be good treatment at the time. This is the case with many people of my generation who were forced into therapy as children (in my case, my parents said “you don’t have to go if you don’t want to” but then wouldn’t take no for an answer, and once I’d consented, there was no going back). As a friend who had a similar experience said to me once, “there’s not surer way of telling your kids that they’re fucked up than to put them in therapy.” Thus, four days a week for much of my adolescence, I was stigmatized, with every appointment another reminder that there was something seriously wrong with me, and that, therefore, it shouldn’t have been surprising that I didn’t have any friends. And the therapist, I think, backed this up by showing little interest in who I wanted to be and instead attempting to impose my parents’ and his own ideas of what a normal kid should be (which, clearly, was nothing I was ever going to be). Once I turned eighteen, I quit going, and entered adulthood with chronic depression that went untreated with anything other than illicit drugs until I was thirty-five. Since then, I’ve had some very positive experiences with therapists–certainly, it’s different when one walks into the therapist’s office willingly, and as a well educated adult who knows more about psychotherapy than “this man is going to help you feel better”–and they have helped me to heal. But, to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to completely trust therapists–there will always be a fear in the back of my head that I’m being judged by someone who thinks she knows better than I do what kind of person I should be and how my mind should work and, thus, may have ideas about “helping” me that will be as destructive as those I was subjected to throughout my adolescence. Wow–this post has ended up long and angry-sounding enough that it might seem like I’m taking revenge–but that’s really not my intention. Rather, as a person who may be “seemingly resistant, I want to point out that such resistance may come out of very legitimate fears based on past “help.”
Dr. KC
22|Jul|2008 16Dear YogaforCynics,
I’m terribly sorry to hear of the poor experience(s) you had with therapy as a child. There are ways a parents can suggest therapy to children without making them feel stigmatized or as if something is wrong with them. It is all in the presentation. And many times, there is nothing “wrong” with a person who goes to therapy. They may just need someone to talk to, to help them figure out their path as they feel stuck. Therapy does not mean always mean illness or disorder, however, it can also mean “I need some help figuring things out.”
You’re completely not alone in the way you feel about therapists. Many many people have a difficult time trusting, not feeling judged, and also feeling as if they know more than the therapist (which they do when it comes to themselves). Afterall, who knows a person better than him/herself? On top of that, it isn’t an easy experience to open yourself up so freely to someone you don’t know while not knowing what they are going to say to you. Nothing is worse than a therapist making an opinion about you that you feel is not indicative of who you are. Or a therapist giving advice about what you should do with your life. Or a therapist telling you what is best for you. No! That is truly not a therapists job. A good therapist should be non-judgmental at all times and never tell a person who he/is or what they should do. Everyone has within in them unique strengths and resources to come up with their own solutions about what is best for them. It is the therapists’ job to guide the client, to show empathy and understanding, and to provide a safe place (in an office or online) where a person can disclose what they want without feeling threatened. That is the challenge. Finding a therapist that will provide all that.
I hope one day you WILL find someone with whom you feel completely comfortable. It’s not easy, but it IS possible.
Feel free to visit DOCintheBiz anytime you want. I am always here.
Thank you so much for your comment and for sharing your story.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
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