03 Aug
Posted by: admin in: Attitude, Emotional Health, Goal Setting, Hope, Priorities, Self Worth/Self Esteem
by KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC
What is Truly Important for Today? As an addendum to the previous article I wrote, Hope for a Bright Future During These Economically Hard Times, I write this article in an attempt to look at the whole suggestion of keeping hope, staying positive, and looking towards a brighter future in a different light. Instead of just staying up about a bright FUTURE, let’s take a look at what we have in the HERE and NOW and be thankful for that. Let’s realize what our priorities are or probably should be TODAY. If you’d like to do that, please continue reading.
These are indeed some hard times our country is going through; however, we’ve seen hard times before. In fact we have seen must worse times than what we are going through now, economically, and most of us came out alright. Most of us have been through a stock market crash and have lost everything. We’ve been through war and lost more. We’ve been through 911 and…well…you know what we lost. That gives me hope that we will all come out alright during this time of economic hardship. But let’s reframe this whole idea.
Perhaps if we look at our economic crisis as a “challenging” time instead of a “hard” time, we may gain a different perspective. Every challenge, obstacle, hurdle, or impediment that is put in front of us may be a test to find out what we truly want in life, what is truly important to us, and what our priorities truly are. If you follow my lead here, I am suggesting that we NEED to know what is truly important to us. What are our values? What are our priorities?
Are they the people in our lives who give us unconditional love and support, perhaps? Our inner strength, perhaps? Our good health, perhaps? Our ability to reach a place of peace within ourselves, perhaps? Everything else will come after that. If we can be strong internally for ourselves, we can be strong for others in our lives and all the situations that act as blockages to a great future. Life CAN be about the future, and realistically, it should be partly about planning intelligently for what is to come in life; however, let’s not take our eye off of today and what is important NOW.
Every challenging time should be viewed as a learning and growing experience brought to us to help us be more prepared for what’s to come “tomorrow,” not as a deterrent from our life’s plan or vision of what we truly want in life. Now, as you’ve been reading article after article that I have written, you know by now how positive I am of a GREAT tomorrow for all of us, but I couldn’t resist this quote. It’s a song by the wonderful Garth Brooks, “If Tomorrow Never Comes”…let’s make sure we enjoy today!
Thank you for reading and please, if you desire one on one help to get you through the hard times…or you need just a little push to hope…write to us here…at DOCintheBiz.
This article is copyrighted by DOCintheBiz.com and may be respectfully re-distributed for non-commercial educational purposes granted that website link and author credit remain intact.
38 Responses
Dr. Roger
03|Aug|2008 1Doc,
What a great post for all of those who think Dooms Day is coming. Yes, we have been through hard times as a country and as individuals, but we ALWAYS come out the other side where the sun is shining.
I like your posts so much and I see such value, that I am recommending my clients to go to Docinthebiz and read.
Thanks for your foresight and insight!
Roger
sensitive Jane
03|Aug|2008 2Hi Dr.
I am a worrier. Big time. I worry about things I can control and things I cannot control. I am working hard on developing a positive attitude for myself so that I can overcome my fears and lessen my worries.
This post has helped me so much. You open my eyes to a brighter future and happier days. I am thankful that tomorrow WILL come.
Jane
Dr. KC
03|Aug|2008 3Dear Sensitive Jane,
Yes, “tomorrow WILL come” as you wrote, whether we worry or not. It is indeed much easier to say than to do, but as we learn strategies that work for us to help replace worry with positive thoughts we can live more peaceful existences. It takes work, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it.
Thank you for your comment.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
03|Aug|2008 4Dear Dr. Roger,
Thank you for your very positive and kind comment. Many people have fears of tomorrow and everyone has the choice to live with the fear or learn how to life for the good in the world. It’s often an internal battle people have within themselves, but I’m not sure what good it does to live with constant worry of “Dooms Day” coming. Again, it’s a choice and an attitude. Be aware of what’s out there, but do not let it ruin TODAY and hope for a good tomorrow.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
» Troubling Times and Priorities – What is Truly Important for TODAY?
03|Aug|2008 5[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
Lim Ee Hai
04|Aug|2008 6We wake up everyday thinking of what to achieve or simply what to do. If this 24 hours of our TODAY, is make use of meaningfully, it can really make an impact on us. Having an attitude to improve is a practice that we cannot deny ourself.
Utlimately we are the one who will gain or lose depending on what we do TODAY. What we do TODAY can accumulate for tomorrow, and if this goes on, we can say a big WOOOW! later on for our success.
Dr. KC
04|Aug|2008 7Dear Lim Ee Hai,
It’s all a matter of our attitude, indeed. If we can learn to treat each day as a new day to accomplish great things, we will be well on our way to a great life and future. I love your positive way of looking at life and I wish more people would view things this way!
I wish you all the best and thank you so much for your comment.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
raven hawk
05|Aug|2008 8This was a perfect article to read today… yesterday I went to the Lake, a place I really LOOK at myself and see what I can change, what is good…. what traits I do not like…..
I have been able to say I LOVE MYSELF…. I am just working on that I LIKE myself….. the statements are different…. to like oneself to me it deals with behavior…. and i am willing. (WILLING IS IMPORTANT HERE) to change that behavior….
To really look at yourself HONESTLY, to say i do this or that and WANT to change it is a good thing…… i do NOT judge myself for the behavior it just is (ok, sometimes i do), yet i am learning NOT to judge it…. i am learning to change …..
Inner peace is important and for me, to change those traits i do not like, will provide that for me….. to be able to give unconditional love…. for me one must like AND love themselves to do that….. no one is perfect.. i will never be…. yet i can be in a state of AWARENESS….. to learn what i am doing and not to judge it…. yet i can have the option to CHANGE IT…
It is true these times are messy….. there is a lot going on…. for me i call it the earth changes based on my spiritual path…. a lot more will happen.. our weather is changing…. people are getting more angry as they are losing jobs, their health is not good….. these time are not the greatest as KC states…. YET YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE it on…. it is not easy…. one must protect themselves from all the negativity and not get trappped in it….. i do at times…… again i am not perfect….. yet my awareness of it at least allows for me to do something about it…..
if i am NOT aware of it, someone brings it to my attention…. it is NOT always easy to hear…..at all…… like today, i am very introspective… i was lucky i was able to call on someone to come over and talk…. we talked about what was going on…. that we are not perfect in this not so perfect world… what we have though is the ability to change ourselves so that what is around us does not affect us so much…. and to like ourselves isn’t such a bad idea either….
i hope this is not scrambled as my brain is still processing what happened yesterday….
THANK YOU KC for the blog…. thank you for being you….. for bringing light to people, by saying that i mean to bring awareness to people….
You have great insight…… i have always appreciated that….
This is A SAFE place to comment about your life FOR THERE IS NO JUDGEMENT HERE….. the real thing is NOT TO JUDGE YOURSELF … to just say it is…. and hopefully do something about it…..
Again i can not say it enough how grateful i am to be able to come to a place like this and express my thoughts…. with depression etc….. it is good to be able to do that….. medications are great in that they give us an opportunity to be stable, then we can really look at ourselves…. not saying we do not have those days, for it is one for me….. not down the rabbit hole, just not dancing for joy…… i am however, in contemplation which is good……
KC…… THANK YOU FOR YOUR HEART……. it is so unconditional…. so giving…. that is what makes this a safe place to come to….
RH
Lance
05|Aug|2008 9I love this post! Today IS important. No matter what we have going on currently. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad. Being present in the moment is about actively taking steps in some direction. Today. I agree it’s important to plan for the future, but I like also how you’ve framed the importance of “today”.
Sometimes, I think challenging times are good for us. They force us to sometime make decisions we might not otherwise make. I remember a time several years ago when the company I worked for went through a layoff. One gentleman I worked with was laid off. I felt really bad for him. But then I talked to him a couple of months later, and he said it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He had taken this as an opportunity to do something he really wanted to do, and his life was so much better because of that.
Do we have the courage to do something like this when things are good? I, for one, struggle with this.
Dr. KC
05|Aug|2008 10Dear Raven Hawk,
You really add so much to each and every post here. I want to thank you for that. I hope that readers really can take away as much as possible from reading your amazing insights and positive attitude towards healing, happiness, and loving/liking oneself.
I am honored to have such a loyal reader such as yourself!
Thank you again.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
05|Aug|2008 11Dear Lance,
I understand the struggle of finding the courage to make changes when things are good. Perhaps you can reframe this idea. Maybe we do not have make changes when things are good. Or, it may be that we haven’t a choice. If in fact, we do not have a choice, then it was probably meant to be, and like your co-worker who was laid off, we may find the change (in good times or bad) was the best thing that could have happened.
You have a great attitude towards making the best of today and a realistic attitude about tomorrow. That is a wonderful combination.
Thank you so much for your comment!
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Laurie
06|Aug|2008 12The declining economy is a wonderful invitation to worry. But what is worry? Being anxious about things you cannot change? So if you cannot change “things” then why invest in the worry. You can plan, prepare, and problem solve instead. These are all things you have a choice in and can contribute some action to. Worry doesn’t give you any choice or action steps. It just gives you a headache.
When I worry, I will recognize it and let it fade away replacing it with thoughts I can take some action with. For example, Instead of worrying about the economy causing my new business to fold, I prepare to live with less money and also think of creative ways to market my product. I also know that God has promised to provide so I know I will not starve to death. My basic needs will be met.
Most of us have a cushy life when compared to other places in the world. What we consider to be really living a less than desirable lifestyle would be a lavish existence in other places. I feel blessed to live here even if times are “challenging”.
Dr. KC
06|Aug|2008 13Dear Laurie,
Worrying is the most useless expenditure of energy, but we still do it. Anxiety at least has some benefits in times when the mind or body may be telling us that something is not right as in fight or flight. But worry, I haven’t figured out the benefit of that yet. So, I have to agree with you entirely on your insightful comment.
You give a GREAT suggestion here as to how to handle worry and I’m so glad that it works for you!! Good for you and your wonderfully positive attitude. I hope others can learn from your words.
Thank you so much for your comment…fantastic as always!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Skye B.
07|Aug|2008 14Hi Doc,
Just wanted you to know that you have been nominated, and chosen to receive an award for your award winning blog. Just drop on by my place, and pick up your award….you well deserving of it. So when you get the chance, just drop by and see what I am talking about.
Thanks, Skye
Tom Rooney
09|Aug|2008 15Dr. KC,
I sorry to say, but we have become a society of naysayers where we dwell on the negative. The function of the 24hr news channels have turned into all doom all the time. Schadenfreude has become the new sport and we can’t get enough of personal disasters in reality TV. You can almost see a smile in the face of the nightly news anchors when the totals for foreclosures have risen to a new all time high. Bad news sells and there isn’t anything that can make us turn away when it’s being reported.
Taking the high ground here and being optimistic is not only needed, it’s the right thing to do. We have always been a country of doers, and strive to reach goals that may have been thought to be unattainable. Horatio Alger is the American story that immigrants hear and dream about in countries much worse off than ours. So a dose of reality with a sprinkle of history may be just what the doctor ordered.
This was a very good and timely post to force a reality check on all those that think their life is in a downward spiral. People need to evaluate where they are and take solace in the fact the there is someone worse off than themselves. Here something for anyone that thinks things are tough, go find someone that is worse off and help him/her. You might be surprised by helping someone else and not stewing in self pity may give you back more that you need. We love a good recovery story so why not one about our nation.
Thanks for the refreshing look at this economic problem.
Troubling Times and Priorities – What is Truly Important for TODAY?
10|Aug|2008 16[...] Original DOCintheBiz [...]
Tom Thorne
12|Aug|2008 17Agree! I have had a great experience over the past 7 months. I have made about 85% - 90% progress in overcoming a 40 year bout with migraine headaches. It took guts and a lot of experimentation. I also finally found a herbal remedy that works!
Jennifer
13|Aug|2008 18Great post Doc KC. We’ll make it through whatever tough time we are currently in or about to enter. Keeping our focus on what is truly important sure does help us make it through. That sure helps to keep things in perspective.
Reiki Chic
13|Aug|2008 19When I get down about things, I just always give thanks for what I do have! Try this moving meditation:
Start walking, breathe deeply in and out a few times. With every step you take give thanks for something in your life. After 20-30 steps I’ll bet you will saying “Thank you for the grass, thank you for the moon.”
We often forget to look at the glass half full and give thanks for the things, people and relationships that we do have. Everyone has lots of things in their to be thankful for, no matter how dismal things may seem. Most of that is an illusion of our own version of reality that we manufacture for ourselves. Get real and get really thankful and try the meditation above.
Blessings to you all!
frenz
14|Aug|2008 20what a great post,
truly we’re in hard time
but it doesn’t mean that
this world will be in doomed.
Laurie
14|Aug|2008 21Hey Doc! I made the big times!
http://tivate.com/interviews/interview-laurie-henry-innovative-teacher#comment-606
vlad
17|Aug|2008 22Good afternoon! I have the site http://www.healthofmylife.com , which is devoted to a theme of health, medicine, preparations and discoveries in the field of medicine. I would like to exchange links with your site. It might be not bad to see my link on the main page of your site, I’ll put your link to the main page also. If you are interested and agree with these conditions, write to me at vdoneman@gmail.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 23Dear Laurie,
Amazing accomplishment! Congratulations! It was wonderful to read that interview! I’m truly proud of you!
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 24Dear Vlad,
It would be my pleasure to do a link exchange with you. I already have your link to your wonderful website on my blogroll.
I encourage anyone reading this to check out this website: http://www.healthofmylife.com.
It is FULL of incredible information on so many health related topics, medications and more!
Thank you for sharing this with my readers and me.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 25Dear Skye B.,
A most sincere thank you for acknowledging my blog in this way!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 26Dear Frenz,
Thank you for your comment. I have to agree with you. Just because the world sees hard times, it does not mean that it is doomed. In fact, nothing ever has to be doomed unless we want it to be that way.
There will always be hard times that the world, as well as we will face. It is all in our attitude as to how we deal with it all.
Stay positive as you seem to be.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 27Dear Reiki Chic,
Thank you for sharing this meditation technique. I will certainly try it as I hope others will as well. It’s so easy to see the good if we choose to see it. Keeping negativity out of our lives and only positivity in it, is the key.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 28Dear Jennifer,
Yes, we will always make it through if that’s what we choose to do. It’s all in our attitude and our perseverance through what holds us back. Thank you so much for your comment.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 29Dear Tom Thorne,
I’m thrilled to hear of your successful progress in getting past (for the most part) your migraine headaches! The next 40 years will prove so much more comfortable! Congratulations!
Thank you for your comment! We always love to hear success stories here!
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
17|Aug|2008 30Dear Tom Rooney,
My pleasure to give a refreshing look, as you so kindly say, to our economic issues. We may have a society of “naysayers”; however, please keep in mind that not everyone is like that. We need to try to keep the positive people around us and in our lives and try to weed out what will bring us down. Staying positive is the key to success and happiness as I seem to mention all the time. Of course we want to know of the reality of the world and life, but constant naysayers do nothing for our self esteem, our growth, or our happiness.
Your comments here are very insightful. I hope you will continue to read and post with us. Thank you very much.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Viviana
15|Sep|2008 31Dear Dr. KC,
Your post is exactly what people need to read and practice. These tips also help people with chronic illnesses. The word challenge is what I like to use because it does place a different perspective on what we are encountering or learning. Every new challenge leads to learning or experiencing something new and different.
Viv
Dr. KC
16|Sep|2008 32Dear Viv,
I love how you use the word “challenge” in your description of, for instance, a chronic illness. Any challenge, obstacle, hardship, distress or tribulation that we have to deal with whether it be a physical or mental/emotional obstacle is one in which hopefully we can learn from and help us to become a more compassionate, understanding, and stronger person.
Thank you for your comment! Please keep reading and writing!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Jason P.
07|Oct|2008 33I have had a belief that this economic crisis is a BIT different from our other dealings… I sense it. And I think it is hard not to try to understand it - on whatever level you need to.
Even the Great Depression wasn’t hardship for EVERYONE. Some came through it fine, even improved, others managed to handle it. Else, we wouldn’t have had the rebound due to the fighting of WWII. However, many others struggles for decades or more. Some saw things, did things out of character, etc.
Right now, the chief stressor in my own life is financial. My family is in the midst of a crisis that has two results: either we come through 2 bankruptcies better or we will lose our home and our jobs. My aunt and mom (whom I live with) are in such a hole, they should have filed 2-3 years ago. Stubborn nature, mental problems (aunt) and pride likely are the culprits. I have tried every means available to convince. Now, the paper is in my mother’s hands, but the monetary means is in my aunts. (Complex story - but to get this going, my aunt has to lend my mother the cash to get a bankruptcy in place to avoid a garnishment she can not afford.)
I work in place of my mother on a route. So it’s not like I don’t assist. But the crisis of finances not only affects America, it has tentacled its way into my consciousness in ways most do not understand.
As a result, I am going to research even more than I have about it, and hopefully, write the story of a lifetime.
Good Luck to all!
Dr. KC
08|Oct|2008 34Dear Jason P.
I understand the hardships you are facing and thank you for sharing them with us here. One of the things that stuck out to me that you said is, “The paper is in my mother’s hands”. You said you have done everything possible to try to help and there has to come a time when you let others (adults) make their own decisions, whether you believe they are best or not. That, I know, is easier said than done.
I look forward to possibly reading your story! Go for it!
And just keep your chin up, as in my experience, everything has a way of working itself out.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Jason P.
15|Oct|2008 35The problem with allowing someone to continually make decisions (or a lack of a decision) is that when their decisions have deep ramifications on your own life, i.e., their financial choices determine whether you have a home, money to buy necessities, etc., it no longer is just about them. (Like a marriage partner that gambles away your savings…)
I told my mother for several months now, “if you don’t make a decision, someone else will make it for you.” I WASN’T talking about me.
The court put a block on her bank acct. two days ago. She’ll will likely be forced to pay up to 25% of her income to pay off several thousand dollars in CREDIT debt. The BANK has forestalled foreclosure only because we are making an effort. But the house is 3 months behind.
My aunt has $30,000 in Credit Debt at least, and probably pays installments in the neighborhood of $700 per month. She makes around $25,000 per year.
We are broke always. Driving old vehicles on delivery routes EVERY NIGHT. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
I have offered them resources, bankruptcy books, Peter Francis Geraci online printouts, wrote a letter to the bank to avoid foreclosure. I am stressed because they procrastinate and put off reasonable tasks.
But I AM stuck. I have a felony that does not engender sympathy. The economy is taking the “good” people down. So that doesn’t improve opportunities for me. And I don’t even have GAS money to actually go looking for mediocre jobs. Can’t spend a nickel to improve my situation when it goes to their goofy choices. I do online job searches, apply to reasonable positions, no calls and no real leads.
Saying it will get better hasn’t worked. It gets worse daily for them and me.
I am so close to going to a lawyer and getting Power of Attorney over their affairs. Having my aunt declared mentally incompetent. That’s how I feel about it.
I am a DOER. After I talk and reason and analyze, it is time to DO something based on logical evidence and normal responses to crisis level situations.
They don’t do it because they have gotten into this situation before, but had an asset (home) to bail them out. That is not the case this time.
Dr. KC
17|Oct|2008 36Dear Jason,
You said it yourself, “I am a DOER”. There comes a time in one’s adult life when they need to take their lives in their own hands and stop trying to do for others who are not as willing to help themselves. This is not said out of cruelty, although it may sound like a bit of “tough love,” which it is. You seem to be taking on the act doing for others at the sake of your own happiness. This must stop in order for you to redeem your self esteem and quality of life. You deserve it. Do not allow others choices to determine your lifestyle or way of living. There is a limit and I think you have well reached yours.
I could go on about this, but without further information on your specific circumstances, I do not want to instill the way I see things onto you. I don’t think that would be fair to you.
I am sorry that you are experiencing such difficulties and all the frustrations they bring with them. There is a way around them though. I cannot tell you what those are in a forum such as this, but can help you privately to get past many of the things that are holding YOUR life back.
Please feel free to write in to DOCintheBiz if you feel you want to and can make some strong, determined changes in your life…yes, YOUR life.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Jason P.
27|Oct|2008 37My mother FINALLY filed bankruptcy: the day before garnishment hearing took place. (Assuming the lawyer did his job.)
My problem is simple: I am a convicted stalker. Spent time in prison. Had ideas of success that are no longer feasible in a post-9/11 society where people fear first, and investigate later. (I took the LSAT, worked as an industrial engineer, graduated from a topnotch school, but no corporate clog would touch me.)
My immediate family never had a dime, and knows very little about life outside small town living.
I never learned (completely) how to deal with my hang ups about my family. My dad severely abused me and my mother. Was convicted too of molestation when I was 16. Hasn’t been in my life really for 2 decades. The starting point of my drinking, inappropriate responses to females, etc.
But this is the only question you need bother with: HAS there been a case of a successful ex-stalker? (Someone that isn’t working construction, or taking out garbage, or some other 3rd rate job with a reasonable education, and some talent?)
What society deems “successful” isn’t what I should deem successful.
So I haven’t done that… I spent 3 years writing a baseball book. But it will ultimately be for me since I doubt it worth as a publishable item…at least for now.
So I have to “accept” the level I’ll best achieve now. Not a success in terms of financial, relationship or other avenues. I’ll do my paper route, write blogs, do my own education, and hope my family will listen to economic common sense.
Eliminate debt. Write (and keep) a budget. Save 5% of income for their rainy days, of which, they will experience more as they get older.
It doesn’t mean I won’t try again and again. But the stories you never hear are the failures that stay failures. You hear about the ones that turn rejection into success. Or go to some therapist to “make progress.” AND 5 years hence, are still there.
When you are labeled, as I am, have bad credit because of circumstances post-conviction, have no job prospects or avenues to them (i.e. friendships: the few I had skated after my conviction) and watch your family do same things to get different results while I had to adapt, learn to write (when I never did it well, especially if you asked any English teacher I had) and accept limitations both very real, but also perceived (to save me more embarrassment and shame), the mountain is inevitably too high to climb.
Sure, happiness is achievable through some route. Currently, I am in a long transit phase of life. What I desired, thought and worked at up to 28 yrs. is a far cry from what I at 36 yrs. of age can realistically do.
This month is also tough because it was the beginning of that end in October 2000. A really bad anniversary. By April 2001, I went to jail and stayed for 27 months. Then was forced to live in an friendless city for 8 months after that, without nearby family assistance. Went from creditworthy to credit dangerous. Could not accept 2 minimum wage jobs as my lot in that town - so I quit after 6 months. Could not afford to live there (before or after I quit), but got to move 120 miles away after that.
Money: it has become the root cause of my ills in life. Which is why I just wanted my mother and aunt to accept they screwed up, take appropriate and reasonable actions (they also have 20 cats: try that for 1 month, I have for 54) and move forward.
I have to move forward. But you can’t just hop a bus (as a ex-convict stalker) and go an anywhere and expect it all to change. That is NOT REAL. (So, I learned that much.)
So I do whatever suits my curiousity and interests. AND I have tons of interests. But I can only pursue them so far (with money constraints upon me) and so, I get frustrated when they refuse to CHANGE one thing.
What do Industrial Engineers do, Doctor? They are typically called “change” engineers. They search for more effective answers and combine whatever is needed to make it more useful, safer and productive. Now, I haven’t done a “real” IE job since April 2001, but I applied some of it to my own life.
Started writing. Blogging. Read across disciplines. Find outlets where I can.
I have to.
Intimate relationships are off limits. I haven’t actually dated anyone in nearly a decade. So what’s the point?
SO instead, I have to develop my own quirky concept of what self is. It can’t revolve around another person obviously, or a rewarding career, or materialistic things. AND it shouldn’t for anyone ELSE. But our American Society tends to DO exactly that. And if you are not married, or dedicated to 50-hour work week or buying a home, car or vacation, you are often left out of the American conversation. People wonder, what’s wrong with (him)?
Questions lead to answers. Answers lead to looks. And looks lead to me feeling all the worse about my life changing experience.
So, there is no ex-con stalker that achieves a prosperous life as we typically deem the AMERICAN DREAM to be. I wanted that. I really did. God knows my FAMILY never achieved it, with their lack of education, or job successes or other failures.
I had my one chance. I managed to move out, get a college degree, get a career started, just to fudge it all up. And it hurt. Grieving has been a prolonged process. And I know it doesn’t resonate with the likes of many professionals.
Whatever I do, I have to accept I am powerless over the people, places and things.
But tell me, how many people have you manipulated (as gently and understandingly as possible) in the past week?
I shouldn’t have to do that to a normal, logic-driven family. BUT I all ready knew how they where before my release. Just forgot about that inconvienent truth when I GOT stuck in a GPS-monitored city where my “alleged victim” still lived. TALK about STUPID PEOPLE.
I could go on and on….
Thanks for you forum.
richard
17|Dec|2009 38Everyone!!!!! YOU MUST go to Examiner.com and see our Doc’s articles there.
She is rocking and rolling.. She has such amazing insight. Doc, I hope you reach many more people and help them like you guide, support and help those of us here on your site.
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