24 Jun
Posted by: admin in: Attitude, Goal Setting, Self Worth/Self Esteem
by KC Kelly, Ph.D., LHMC
Dreams and Goals
How far away is a star?
Is a star truly unreachable?
I guess it depends on what you call a star. YOU are a star. Just as people define “success,” they define what is a star.
What is a dream?
Is a dream soley a state of abstraction… asleep or awake? Are dreams reveries? Are dreams wild fancies or hopes? Is a dream a longing for something usually unattainable? Simply an aspiration or desire? If you want them to be, they can. If you want them to be more than that, they can be that too.
How many dreams actually are fulfilled?
Are the dreams that YOU make for yourself feasible? Or are they improbable or unrealistic? If you answered the latter, why do that to yourself? Why put yourself in that position?
Let us use a different word. Let us not use the word “dreams”. Refuse to call the things that you want your life “dreams”. I ask again, how many dreams actually come true? The new word? GOALS.
If you set realistic and feasible goals for yourself…watch as they come true. Goals are something you set, organize, make plans for, and then set those plans into motion until they are fulfilled. Do not let anyone get in the way of what you want to accomplish. If they don’t want to get on the ride, wave as you go by and by and by. You can always revisit on the other side! And if they want to get on the ride, how wonderful is that? Move over and make the room! And especially don’t allow yourself to get in your own way. Set your attitude straight and follow it all the way to completion.
Stay productive, busy and always continue on your journey of fulfilling all your goals. Think of your aspirations NOT as dreams, but goals that will be reached!
A star is NOT that high! It is not untouchable! It’s truly up to you!
I’m finished here. So please…send me your thoughts. And when you are done with that, close the computer and go.
Go do ONE thing…as small as it may be…one single thing to reach one of the goals you set for yourself. And remember, a goal does not have to be grandiose. It can be as small as putting a few cents away to save for something you truly want/need in the future, to saying something wonderfully sweet to your loved one to help the relationship, to adding a few lines to that book you’ve been writing for years. On your mark. Get set. GO!
This article is copyrighted by docinthebiz.com and may be respectfully re-distributed for non-commercial educational purposes granted that website link and author credit remain intact.
36 Responses
Dr. Nicole Sundene
24|Jun|2008 1I love this. I was just reading about using words over at http://adaringadventure.com !
I love to dream and daydream, but you are right our big dreams should always be goals…know matter how long it might take.
Great write my friend!
Doc KC
24|Jun|2008 2Dear Dr. Nicole,
Thanks so much for your comment! Tim is a great inspiration for setting goals and making them into reality. Thank you for sharing his article. I know nothing will keep you from reaching success either!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Laurie
25|Jun|2008 3Recently I came to realize that I can go for my dreams. I worked on my marriage and it is in such a good place. I had never thought it could be this good. I thought about what I enjoy doing (teaching, creating, working with kids) and I am now turning that into a business. I always thought that any job would have the yuck stuff involved with it until one day someone said why does every job have to have the yuck factor? I thought he’s right, so I set off to figure out my business, everything good without the yuck factor. I had a great idea to center my business around and I am so happy.
I have never had such a huge idea and felt able to see it through. I am actually doing that! It feels so wonderful. Very empowering. Since I went for it with my marriage and my business, I am going for it in other areas as well. I just bought a canoe. I have always wanted my own. I love to canoe. I want to do some other things and am going to plan them and make them happen instead of saying “oh I wish I could do that.” Now I am going to do it. I will be 50 in a couple of years ( I look GOOD for 48) and I have decided that I am going to sky dive for my 50th birthday. Next year will be my 25th anniversary. If I have the money, we are going white water rafting in the Grand Canyon. The BIG dream is to buy some land at this lake in the mountains I have been to and build a log cabin. Ahhhh…that’s the life! The biggest change in my life that has made a difference for me was realizing I can go for it in life. The more I experience in life the more I love, the more I love God, my family, and the more I love me for doing the risky thing and living full out!!!! Life is a great adventure. Sometimes it is so difficult but those times give you strength and build your relationship with God so you know who to thank for the great times. Life is so good!
I appreciate your encouragement. I’m just glad I figured this out before I got to old to enjoy fulfilling my dreams. I still like to call them dreams. It gives them an enchanting feel and after all I do feel like a princess! :O)
Benny Greenberg
25|Jun|2008 4@Laurie - They are dreams Laurie!
Ya-ttitude™-ism: Goals are just the mile markers on the road to our dreams.
Of course do not confuse your dreams with wishes - but that is a whole other story that we could always get into if you want. I have to disagree with you here oh Dr. They are absolutely, positively dreams and the bigger the better. You do need to set up your plan and back that with your desire to accomplish. But the great desire for humans comes from our ability to see in our mind (dream) exactly what it is that we want.
So - dream your dreams - make them as big as you can - aim as high as you can, and then set off down the road to your final success.
Celebrate each point along the way - each accomplishment and each setback (as those setbacks are temporary and they are learning tools) with something special for yourself.
Benny
http://www.ya-ttitude.com
Joe
25|Jun|2008 5Great post, Doc. Just what I needed to read today. You couldn’t have posted this at a better time.
elizabeth
25|Jun|2008 6Hello again,
I must say I just loved reading this article. You made me think.
I will now think of a dream as a happy pleasant fantasy, and I shall use the word GOAL to identify what I want to accomplish. Yes, goals can be achieved. Set them high, work hard and never ever give up. Then, for sure, one day you can look back and remember you almost called your wonderful accomplishment a dream.
Jennifer
26|Jun|2008 7Dr. Nicole, yes, Tim’s post on “Mind your Language” is great, isn’t it?!
Laurie, I LOVE your story. Thank you so much for sharing that! What an inspirition!
Dr. KC., this is a fabulous post. I guess it depends on the person (as Laurie pointed out), but I do think that calling them dreams makes them too far away or unattainable. A “goal” to me says, “I can do this.” Dreams should start off as dreams, but quickly turn into goals and then reality. That’s the difference between successful and unsuccessful people (in any endeavor in life) - those who make it reality and those who are afraid to make it reality. My recent post http://principlesforpeace.com/?p=96 may help give just the right amount of motivation to help reach these goals that were once dreams. The post is about some fabulous information that I recently came across.
I liked your poetic style here. Great post! I’m going to stumble it.
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 8Dear Laurie,
Calling your wishes and wants “dreams” certainly seems to be working for you! WOW! What a great and inspiring post. I couldn’t be more happy for you as I read all that you are accomplishing and doing with your life. And there is so much more to come for you! Keep up the great work. You are indeed a princess!
Thank you so much for this wonderful comment!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 9Dear Benny,
Thank you for your comment and your opinions on the differences of dreams and goals.
I fully respect what you have to say! That is what makes this kind of forum so wonderful. The amazing opinions that enter it.
Whatever word a person decides to use is their choice. It’s only semantics for such an amazing part of life…dreams or goals of things that we want to accomplish in life. It is just my thought that the word dream often leads people to not truly setting up the stage for success. The word “goal,” however, has a certain kind of strength behind it to lead people to take action with a plan and executing that plan. Dreams and fantasies often lead people to just hoping without doing anything about what they want.
So, either way, as long as we don’t set them too high and execute them to the finish, we’re doing great! When you say to dream big and the bigger the better, I’d be careful in suggesting that to people who may not truly understand where you’re coming from and set goals for themselves (or dreams) that are not realistic and not attainable. This will not help a person’s self esteem in the end.
Have you ever watched those out takes on American Idol? Some of these people have “dreams” of being famous singers when they cannot carry any kind of note. They spend tons of money and time to get an audition for a “dream” that is not realistic. But they don’t truly understand this.
I always make sure when talking to someone about “dreams” or “goals” that they are realistic and not just hoping on fantasies of things that can/will never happen for them. People DO have limitations. “Dreams” or “goals” need to be set with a foundation already in place. Some things such as raw talent are innate and when one is not completely in control of making things happen, there may not be a way to make what they want come true. That is where I just see “dreams” as being more “fluffy” (for lack of a better word) and “goals” as more substantive towards sitting down and making a course of action plan to make sure all the elements are in place to make the goal into reality. And you know, me. I’m the most positive person out there, but we have to be realistic too.
In conclusion, either word a person chooses to use, I hope that he/she has a grounded foundation and plan to make it come true. Dreaming is fine, but unless you want to just keeping dreaming and hoping, you need to be goal setting!
Always love to read your comments, Benny. Thanks for stopping by!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 10Dear Joe,
I’m thrilled that I wrote something that you enjoyed at just the right time for you. Isn’t it wonderful when things work out that way?
Thank you for your comment! Please keep reading and posting!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 11Dear Elizabeth,
I’m really glad you enjoyed this article. I love to make people think! That leads to making great changes for a happier life! If making the switch from “dreams” to “goals” helps you towards success in your life, than that is absolutely wonderful! Remember to be realistic when setting your goals as you don’t want them to be unrealistically high. You must know yourself and your limitations, as we do not want to set ourselves up for failure. However, I think that with realistic, well planned out goal setting…the greatest things are possible!!
Thank you so much for your comment!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 12Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much for posting and commenting to others as well! And for your stumble!
I love the way you look at the progression of the things we want to accomplish in our lives! It seems as though you’re saying that first they start off as a dreams, but as we become more serious about wanting them, we make them into attainable goals and work at them from there. I love that!
Thank you for sharing your post. I hope that others will find it helpful as well! There is never to much motivation or inspiration a person can get! That’s what many of us need and thrive off of to make our worlds richer, more exciting, and seeing the light that is the fabulous future to come!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Jason
26|Jun|2008 13Hey Doc,
Thanks for the shout from Blog Catalog. I too think dreams are very important. Goals to me are the steps you take on the way to a dream, but dreams do not have to be attainable (yet).
I had a dream, years ago, of becoming a teacher. I had doubts it would happen, but I worked on it. After 13 years, I earned my bachelors degree. I still had that dream to be a teacher, but I was stuck. I could not afford to not work while I student taught. Taking a year or two off work to go to school was not feasible to me.
I continued to work at it, then I felt the urge to look into it further. I found out about a program that I really wanted to get into. I missed the deadline. I talked with the adviser about it anyway. She gave me an extension saying that I should only take the time (mine and hers) to apply if I thought I’d be able to do it. I knew I had to make it happen.
I went home, spoke with my wife, and did some math. If I refinanced the house, sold our rental and tightened the purse it might work. Elizabeth put the requirement that if the rental had not sold before the first day of school, that I would have to drop the program.
When the renter moved out, the condo was a mess. I had to replace all the flooring, repair the kitchen cabinets, dispose of the fridge, replace the disposal, and do a extra good cleaning of everything else. Getting the cat urine smell out was a huge task. I knew I had to get it done if I was going to go to school, so I worked hard.
I’m now half way through the program. Sept 2009 I’ll have my own classroom (assuming I get a job first year… I will, I’ll make sure of it). That dream of becoming a teacher was unattainable when I first started to dream it. 17 years later it is a very attainable goal. Now I just need to make sure I get enough work over the summer to amend the savings so that we can still afford to eat next summer. The job I’m working on will cover about half of what I need for the summer… Now I need another job the same size.
(I was a web designer and computer tech in my previous life)
Dr. KC
26|Jun|2008 14Dear Jason,
Thank you so much for sharing you story! Again, whatever words you want to use are just fine. I truly understand the way you are defining the terms and it makes sense to me.
All your hard work and dedication will pay off. I was always told that anything worth gaining isn’t easy to get. If it was, everyone would have it.
Best of luck to you in obtaining your goals and your longer term dreams.
Again, thanks for your comment and please keep reading and posting!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Tim Brownson
26|Jun|2008 15What’s your definition of unrealistic KC?
I love dreams and I love goals. Some dreams cannot be made into sensible goals they’re just too nebulous and can’ be pinned down, they have to stay as dreams, for the time being at least.
Dude
27|Jun|2008 16Never say, “I should have…..”. Go for it!
Dr. KC
27|Jun|2008 17Dear Tim,
This is also how I make the distinction between dreams and goals. My definition of unrealistic may possibly be dreaming to win the lottery. Don’t laugh because many people play obsessively thinking they have that chance to win. And of course they do, but the odds are so high, and is how I define unrealistic.
I think I also defined what unrealistic means to me in a comment in this forum. I used the example of the person who wants to WIN American Idol, yet he hasn’t any singing talent at all (raw talent is innate) and perhaps is even older than the age requirement allows. Is that unrealistic to hold onto that dream? There may be other ways to become involved in the show and he can set great goals of how to break into working backstage running the camera or doing something to be involved, but to win the show as a contestant? Unrealistic.
Thank you for your comment.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
27|Jun|2008 18Dear Dude,
I couldn’t agree with you more. I love your attitude. Just make sure what you want to go for is attainable and do what it takes.
Thank you for the comment!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Tim Brownson
27|Jun|2008 19Gotcha! I full agree with that. If it’s humanly possible (physically and within any set in stone rules regarding age/sex/race etc) then it’s not unrealistic.
That’ll teach me to scan the comments
Jack Payne
27|Jun|2008 20A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.
Dannny Z.
27|Jun|2008 21Dr. KC needs to start an account at DIGG!
Dr. KC
27|Jun|2008 22Dear Danny,
Thanks for your comment. I do have an account on Digg, although I am still trying to figure the whole thing out. I am trying to digg as many great articles as I can and I also leave comments there for those same articles! My username on Digg is DocKC. See if you can find me there. That would be great!
Thanks again!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
27|Jun|2008 23Dear Jack,
Thank you for your take on dreams vs goals. Like I’ve said, we will all have our own views and takes on what they are and this is what makes forums like these so wonderful!
Please keep reading and posting. We love your commentary!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Dr. KC
27|Jun|2008 24Dear Tim,
Sometimes we just cannot get blood from a stone. So, that’s why I make sure my clients remain realistic in the goals they set for themselves. And to be clear, it’s not for ME to say whether or not the person is able to reach a desired goal (although sometimes its more than obvious), but it’s up to them to realize it deep within them and come to terms with what reality is and to be able to accept that, turn around, and adjust their goals to ones that ARE attainable for them. This can only help their self esteem.
Thanks for your comment back!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
John Rocheleau - Zen-Moments
27|Jun|2008 25I like the way you put that. A nice rephrasing that makes dreams more attainable; something you work toward.
We leave so much of our power untapped for no good reason. Simple perspective changes can make all the difference.
Dr. KC
28|Jun|2008 26Dear John,
There are so many reasons to why people keep their “power” untapped. They first have to have the desire to want to do something with it. It’s only then when they can overcome whatever is holding them back (fear of success or failure, lack of motivation, etc.). After that, they must have the determination, will power, and resources to make their dreams into reality.
I’m glad you enjoyed this article and I hope it has been inspiring to many of my readers.
Thank you so much for your comment! Please keep reading and posting!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Barry
28|Jun|2008 27I normailly do not remember dreams at all, except for maybe one or two a year, then usually just seconds of the dream - not a whole “story”
oooohhhh you mean THOSE kinds of dreams
Dreams may be kind of an elaborate name for mine - goals - aspirations - funny though I keep ending up in international police missions, because “it is what I do”
Dr. KC
28|Jun|2008 28Dear Barry,
Thanks for the clever comment and the chuckle. Dreams or goals can also be set outside of what you do for a living. They can add flair to life and make it much more exciting and interesting. So, occasionally, we set goals that started as hobbies, but if we are passionate enough about them, we can make them into more than just passing or fleeting thoughts.
Thank you for your comment and I hope you’ll keep reading and posting here.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Shilpan | successsoul.com
30|Jun|2008 29Dr KC,
What a marvelous wisdom. What is a goal? What is a dream? Aren’t our dreams, our goals? Aren’t our goals our dreams? They are siblings. Or are they?
I love this marvelous thought!
Shilpan
Dr. KC
30|Jun|2008 30Dear Shilpan,
That’s the big question. It’s all subjective and whatever works for the person. This article is just how one doctor (myself) thinks about it.
Thank you for your comment!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Reiki Chic
16|Jul|2008 31You can manifest your dreams! Making them goals is a good first step. Adjusting your mind to make them positive mantras that you repeat everyday is even better! One of mine is to Have a financially and spiritually successful Reiki Practice. I repeat this mantra daily at least three times in a row and then release that thought up to the universe as a request. You must then take positive action toward making your dream mantra come true. Create a roadmap of baby steps and baby goals with dates by them and then start doing them one at a time. This gives you the satisfaction of crossing something off a list as done and makes you feel successful on the journey as well.
By repeating the positive words daily and taking small doable actions, before you know it–your dream has come true!!
Dr. KC
16|Jul|2008 32Dear Reiki Chic,
I love your wonderful suggestions and practices! You have brought a heap of great information, motivation and inspiration to this forum and I thank you very much for your encouraging words!
Please keep reading and posting!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Reiki Chic
23|Jul|2008 33Oh Thanks KC!
Sorry it’s taken me sooo long to get over here. I’ll keep reading and posting away!!
Dr. KC
23|Jul|2008 34Dear Reiki Chic,
It’s my pleasure to speak the truth! Your presence is always welcome here!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
Raven Hawk
06|Sep|2008 35DREAMS AND GOALS with a different spin.
I believe in dreams. I believe in goals. The path I follow however also adds a spiritual aspect to this. Manifestation. Not in the normal terms one might think.
For me it is trust in Spirit. That it will happen. To keep a positive attitude (not always easy with road blocks) and walk your talk. In other words, you want something to occur, like for me, publication of a book. I have put it out to Spirit for it is what I feel would benefit not only our children yet adults on how to get along together with our mother earth and each other. In turmoil times like we are having, wouldn’t it be nice if all could get along?
In my spiriutal path I know it will happen when it is supposed to, however, sometimes, I do say, “hey, could this could happen now”, it is needed now. I try to say this in a good way for I believe that words contain energy, energy that is put out in the universe to manifest those dreams and goals. I would imagine that “realism” is in there somewhere
for I know that most things do not come out of nothing (well that in itself is a Spiritual depate, LOL)
Also for me, working with Spirit involves doing some foot work. I have put it out there for help. NOT AN EASY TASK FOR ME. MUCH EASIER TO HELP THAN TO RECEIVE.
I have “used’ my space as a way of contact. I have seen people promote their dreams so I took that leap in faith. I put out a bulletin ASKING for help. That is some of the foot work. The other foot work is not to be disappointed, again, not an easy task, when I do not get any responses. When you dream for the stars and the moon, I believe it can happen. You can make your dreams come true, it sometimes just depends on timing.
Inner dreams, what I call them, interpersonal relationships with yourself or with someone else for me is easier to achieve. Easier in that it only involves YOURSELF and the change within you. Outer dreams requires a dependence on others. That is hard. It is hard not to take non response as rejection.
This dream I have had ALL MY LIFE. It is something I have worked on, something I believed in. I have done the footwork. So yes I do get frustrated at the lack of help. I am learning not to take it personal. That is a big step for me. What others do in their lives is their own business and it is not my place to judge them. If they can not help does not mean that they are personally rejecting me.
I can say, however, I am far from perfect for last night I did feel that rejection. It was not easy for me to put myself out there and ASK for I have learned to just rely on myself. It was hard not to slide way down that hole. It is hard sometimes when you have been working SO LONG on a dream NOT to give up. People I think sometimes think I am “crazy” for lack of a better word for persuing this dream of mine. It is like when are you going to realize that this is not going to happen for you. Thus I have learned sometimes to lock up this dream in a safe place.
I awoke this morning with a wonderful response to my bulletin. I am not sure how to do what is suggested of me, however, I asked and hopefully I will be guided. This afternoon, a friend on my space told me they rather contact people for an agent in a personal way which is amazing to me as this person is one of the busiest people I know. Talk about having dreams come true. This woman is such an advocate for others. Really promotes what she believes in and works for very hard. Not only is she a friend, she is someone I admire so very much. Still her answer BLEW ME AWAY. To have her help ME?… WOW…
That is where the dream came true. SOMEONE LISTENED. SOMEONE CARED. SOMEONE RESPONDED. I hold onto their words for sometimes, dreams like this are like reaching beyond the stars.
So for me, dreams involve Spirit. Belief. I am no greater than. Not greater than the tree that sits outside my door nor am I less than the one who makes millions of dollars. We are all the same. That is my belief.
When my dream comes true, yes, I will be flying and someone will have to peel me off from the farthest planet.
Maybe I want my dream to badly. I do not know. I just know it is my way to really contribute to what I believe in. To really help in a BIG way so I do not give up. Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing or “bad”
RH
Dr. KC
09|Sep|2008 36Dear RH,
Thank you so much for your very well thought out and honest post. Your beliefs in spirit and faith will take you to places you never dreamed possible at one point in your life. I remember when you didn’t quite hold so tightly to them. Now that you do, never let go! Your words radiate confidence and excitement for the possibilities of what is “out there” for you and for the things you CAN accomplish.
It is not often easy to ask for or to get help from others, but sometimes we “need” to put ourselves out there and ask. We can often be surprised by who may extend their hand out to help us. It doesn’t always work that way, but when it does it certainly does feel good as I see it how it made you feel to know someone is there to care and to help.
I know there are great things to come for you because you ARE putting yourself out there and really trying to accomplish the goals you have set for yourself and I commend you for that! You have already come leaps and bounds by just feeling this inner confidence!
Keep up your dreams and the faith you have that you will accomplish them. And I’ll be right here to congratulate you and celebrate in your success.
All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com
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